Queen gives inaugural transfer deadline day address

First ever royal deadline day message delivered with uncharacteristic curtness from Her Maj.

Transfer deadline day to go ahead as planned, confirms White House

Prime Minister Theresa May relays news on to an ecstatic Jim White House.

Erratic Moyes now hording ex-Everton players as crazy old lady would cats

Sunderland boss cradles Pienaar for companionship.

Chaos at John Lennon Airport as Sadio Mané returns to Liverpool

Trumptacular scenes as Senegal forward returns from African Cup of Nations.

Darren Bent regrets not buying the trainers marked ‘clearance’

Revises wisdom of vast personal collection after baffling own goal against Leicester.

Mourinho now able to retroactively edit his own track record

Man Utd boss acquires power to customise his results and achievements.

Klopp bumps into Guardiola during nude forest rampage

Liverpool boss reacts badly to EFL Cup semi-final defeat to Southampton.

Burnley set to sign Premier League status from Hull for £10m

Deal for continued top-flight presence includes free Snodgrass.

“Delighted” Moyes announces first rubbish & inconsequential January signing

Lescott joins Sunderland in presumably pointless exercise.

Wenger “didn’t see” incident where he pushed ref

Would have required mirror, he insists.