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Operation Yewtree to continue DJ Campbell investigation

The Blackburn Rovers striker has been implicated in the hot new match-fixing scandal that's set to take the nation by storm.

By Jonny Abrams

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DJ Campbell
Campbell… In the soup (Image: Kidstylez)

Operation Yewtree is set to press ahead with plans to investigate DJ Campbell despite having had it pointed out to them that he’s not actually a DJ, that’s just his name.

The Blackburn Rovers striker, a Scorpio, has been implicated in the hot new match-fixing scandal that’s set to take the nation by storm, the cops dragging his busted ass into one of those interrogation rooms and being all like “what do you know?” up in his face.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Operation Yewtree’s senior investigating officer DS David Gray confirmed that he is not in fact David Gray of “Babylon” fame, and told us to stop wobbling our heads sarcastically.

He said: “We make no apologies for acting swiftly to intercept the National Crime Agency’s cross-examination of DJ in order that we may conduct our own.

“He kept denying everything, a state of affairs that only made sense once someone had drawn our attention to the fact that he’s DJ by name but not by nature.

“Suffice it to say, when we heard a DJ had been taken in for questioning we were most insulted by the notion of someone going over our heads.

“In the interests of keeping pride intact, we will continue to keep DJ Campbell locked in a dank room asking him about his connection to Jimmy Savile.

“He claims they have never met but I know for a fact that he used to play for Blackpool, while Jimmy Savile sexually assaulted three children in Blackpool in the 1960s.

“Coincidence? I have my doubts.”

Dave Lee Travis declined to comment when asked if he’d ever got a booking on purpose.