Nigel Adkins reading takes Reading reading circle by storm

Fake News » Nigel Adkins reading takes Reading reading circle by storm

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Nigel Adkins
Here’s Nigel Adkins’s poetry slam cover shot (Image: Steffi Behrmann)

A Nigel Adkins reading of the famous Dale Wimbrow poem “The Bloke Upstairs” has taken a Reading reading circle by storm, it has been taken as read.

The reading circle, in Reading, was left grasping for superlatives as the bespectacled football manager stood proudly in front of them with a fixed, determined gaze and projected the poetry so stirringly that there were reports of people swooning up to fifty miles away.

He recited: “When you get what you want in the struggle for survival
And the world wants you as manager of Reading
Just go to the league table and look at your rival
And wait for the inevitable beheading

For it isn’t your Wigan, or Villa, or Stoke
Whose judgment upon you’ll be crowned
The verdict that counts is of only one bloke
That’s the one who gave his name to the ground

He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s paying you, and Adam le Fondre
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If next season you’re not playing Bolton Wanderers

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If the bloke upstairs suddenly sees his arse.”

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, outgoing Royals boss Brian McDermott insisted that Adkins was not the only poetically minded manager doing the rounds, and that if required he could call upon his own experience of sitting in on a drama workshop by accident while looking for a toilet in the early ’70s.

He said: “There was an old man called Madejski
Who…er…”

He added: “Does it need to be exact rhymes, or could it be something like ‘racy’?

“You know what, just forget about it.”

Does it need to be exact rhymes? Or could it be something like ‘racy’, ‘pacy’ or ‘lacy’? Have your say in the comments section below…

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