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New Everton crest unveiled: “No expense spared,” says CEO

The design was a clear winner ahead of options B and C, a tarantula with the face of Jimmy Tarbuck and a photo of a flattened hedgehog respectively.

By Jonny Abrams

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New Everton crest
New Everton crest… Definitely an improvement

Here it is, the new Everton crest – what do you think?

The crest, new, will replace the presently incumbent child’s drawing of a “moo cow” effective of the end of this season.

An online poll was conducted among Toffees fans to find a replacement for the emblematic bovine, which was widely felt to be inappropriate for a club of such illustrious standing within the game.

With a whopping 43% of the vote, this modern design was a clear winner ahead of options B and C, a tarantula with the face of Jimmy Tarbuck and a photograph of a flattened hedgehog respectively.

A fourth option, an artist’s impression of Tony Pulis naked headbutting James Beattie, was scrapped at the preliminary stage.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, club CEO Robert Elstone explained the thinking behind the new Everton crest.

He said: “As you can see, we’ve restored the club’s motto, but in English. No ****er speaks Latin.

“We opted to stylise it in youth jargon in order to appeal to a younger demographic of customer who’d be more likely to unquestioningly swallow whatever we throw at them.

“It’s blue, which we thought was a nice touch, and…oh. They spelt ‘Everton’ wrong.”

He added: “I suppose we’re going to have to have another vote now.”

Chairman Bill Kenwright was unavailable for comment as he was busy searching 24/7 for investment.

What do YOU think of the new Everton crest? Would you have had a cow in it? Have your say in the comments thingy below…