Miroslav Klose World Cup record set for general release

Fake News » Miroslav Klose World Cup record set for general release

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Miroslav Klose, inspiration behind the Miroslav Klose World Cup record
Klose… Now Klosest (Image: Michael Kranewitter, Wikipedia, CC-by-sa 3.0/at)

It’s the Miroslav Klose World Cup record that’s had everybody atwitter, and it’s out on Monday!

The Germany marksman’s strike in last night’s 7-1 demolition of Brazil took him to 16 goals at World Cup finals, seeing him surpass Ronaldo as the competition’s all-time leading scorer and activating the release of a compilation album.

Compiled of hits from the years 2002, 2006, 2010 and 2014, the record is said to feature Pitbull, Maroon 5 and all sorts of ghastly muppets like that.

Early indications are that Klose’s record will come packaged with a free USB stick containing a four-hour deep house mix from Sami Khedira, while the first thousand copies will come hand-delivered in a briefcase by an official Fifa whistle-blower of your choice.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Klose expressed his disappointment that he’s not even older than he already is and therefore hasn’t played at a World Cup with any decent music contemporaneous to it.

He barked: “I haven’t heard the Ronaldo World Cup record but I hear it climaxes with a 12-minute live rendition of ‘Taj Mahal’.

“That’s pretty cool. I’m not so sure about my one though. If there has to be a Miroslav Klose World Cup record, I wouldn’t mind a bit of Marlene Dietrich on there, maybe a bit of Kraftwerk too.

“Something to mix it up a bit, even a bit of Stockhausen or Can. The latter just signed for Liverpool, you know.

“But bloody Pitbull? He’s one bad meff.”

SEE ALSO: Germany thrash Brazil as Bayern-Barca match happens again

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