Micah Richards penalty intercepts asteroid, saves humankind

Fake News » Micah Richards penalty intercepts asteroid, saves humankind

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One Micah Richards penalty and all this could be smithereens
SUPERGIANT: No match for a badly taken penalty

It’s the Micah Richards penalty that’s had everyone’s tongues a-wagging, and if this morning’s claims from the astronomy community are to believed then we’re all significantly in its debt.

The spot kick, atrocious, amused onlookers as Manchester City slumped to a pre-season friendly defeat to Greek side Olympiacos – but, in a quite remarkable twist of fate, it looks to have saved us all.

Micah Richards penalty! https://t.co/v97xHgzalK

— Football Vines (@FootballVines) August 2, 2014

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According to a bunch of speccy types, the Micah Richards penalty occurred just in time to intercept a large asteroid that was hurtling towards Earth having been dislodged from some far-off celestial body by Phil Jones’s penalty against Sunderland last season.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, one such nerd explained how close our planet came to being totally annihilated and warned against any English defender being allowed to take a penalty ever again – except for Leighton Baines.

He said: “Baines isn’t really a defender anyway – I’d say he’s more of a mod.

“I’ll wager he’s never skied one so horrendously that it pulverised a distant supergiant, almost destroying us all but for the intervention of an even worse penalty.

“It takes a lot to steal all the headlines on the same day that Rickie Lambert finally misses a penalty, harbinger of doom that that was supposed to be.

“So we all live to fight another day – but for how long?”

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