Mesut Özil volleys entire cake into Theo Walcott’s mouth
- By Football Burp
Mesut Özil has marked Theo Walcott’s ten-year Arsenal anniversary by kicking an entire cake into his team-mate’s mouth, it is being reported.
The German, unhygienic, was apparently seen flicking the celebratory gateau up into the air and volleying it with unerring accuracy into the momentarily gaping mouth of an unsuspecting Walcott.
Gunners boss Arsène Wenger brushed off any fresh injury concerns, pouring scorn on suggestions that Özil’s deadeye dessert delivery had ruptured Walcott’s Achilles tendon ligament strings.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the Frenchman revealed that Walcott is still digesting the cake but is expected to be finished in time for Sunday’s clash with Chelsea.
He said: “Mesut is a bit of a joker in this way, I can tell you.
“He is always going about the club kicking whole meals into people’s mouths from seemingly impossible angles, then taking a bow and saying, ‘Happy to assist.’
“I once saw him volley a lamb shank into Olivier Giroud’s mouth from a good sixty yards away. To this day I cannot figure out how he did it.
“He is a unique talent, one whose skills I think should be harnessed for community care work when his playing days are over.
“Oh and we’re still not signing Benzema.”