Messi and Agüero “fired up” by Top Gear insult
- By Football Burp
It’s the scintillating Messi and Agüero form that’s had everyone atwitter, and it turns out it was inspired by Top Gear’s controversial live action trolling of Argentina.
The form, not just scintillating but also sparkling and coruscating, came to a head last night when Barcelona star Lionel Messi became the Champions League’s all-time top scorer with a hat-trick against Apoel Nicosia and Sergio Agüero scored a hat-trick in Manchester City’s dazzling 3-2 win over ten-man Bayern Munich.
In a shock twist, the pair have admitted that they were spurred onto these feats of footballry by Clarkson and co.’s inflammatory numberplate, reportedly “TH4TCH3R W0Z 3R3”.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Messi and Agüero pledged to auction off their specially presented commemorative shields and give 100 per cent of the proceeds to a charity for the victims of Top Gear invasions.
They chorused: “Take that, you abominable lad’s mag enactments – we run football now.
“Where did you watch the World Cup final? In a bar? Gee, I wonder what we were doing.
“Oh, that’s right, we were playing in it. How silly of us to have forgotten that.
“We’ll just get back to singlehandedly destroying sides while you present your silly show about cars and be all xenophobic.
Denis Stracqualursi was unavailable for comment.