Man Utd curse lifted, new era of Fergie time ushered in

Fake News » Man Utd curse lifted, new era of Fergie time ushered in

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Fergie time is back thanks to Marcus Rashford's winner at Hull
TIME: Fergie (Image: Austin Osuide)

Marcus Rashford’s Fergie time winner at Hull has officially lifted whatever manner of curse Man Utd were labouring under.

José Mourinho’s men pummelled their hosts to no avail until Sir Alex’s face appeared in the clouds pronouncing “it is time”.

This was the cue for Wayne Rooney to become momentarily rejuvenated, setting up his young heir Rashford to win it.

This in turn was the cue for Mourinho to cackle megalomaniacally and assume the form of a giant snake.

Moyes- and LVG-faced ghosts swarmed the sky as United fans celebrated like Ewoks at the end of Return of the Jedi.

And Tigers boss Mike Phelan was left trudging around the perimeter of the pitch stomping balloons in anguish.

According to the ancient prophesy, we are now due a thousand years of darkness – or at least twenty years of late winners.

It foretold: “A thousand years of darkness is the worst case scenario, granted.

“But if you happen to support one of United’s rivals, two decades of goal-scoring substitutes and suspect officiating might seem just as bleak.

“There will come a new Cantona, possibly a veteran Swede but not Henrik Larsson.

“That’s all for now, folks. More ancient prophesies as we have them.”

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