Those Malky Mackay texts you’ve been reading, the ones poking fun at everyone from non-whites to gay snakes, were just banter – so, you know, it’s all okay really.
That’s the opinion of former Cardiff City manager Malky Mackay, who was apologising publicly for the grossly offensive nature of the leaked messages when he broke off to affect a Jimmy Carr style shrug and beckon everyone to “aaahhh, come on”.
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The Malky Mackay texts, shared with former Bluebirds colleague Iain Moody, are purported to have included the following:
“He’s a snake, a gay snake. Not to be trusted.” (On an official at another club.)
“Not many white faces amongst that lot but worth considering.” (On a list of potential signings.)
“Go on, fat Phil. Nothing like a Jew that sees money slipping through his fingers.” (On agent Phil Smith.)
But, like, that’s just banter, innit?
Don’t be such a hard-on about it. What are you, some kind of gay snake?
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Idan, a homosexual Jewish serpent from Eilat, outlined the emotional trauma inflicted upon him by Mackay’s comments.
He hissed, camply: “It’sss ssso sssad that it’sss come to thisss, that sssomeone of Malky’sss ssstatusss could dissssssmissssss thisss asss jussst ‘banter’.
“Where I come from, people placcce a lot of ssstock in what Premier League managersss have to sssay – they’re basssically godsss around here, ssso you can imagine the cruel thingsss people have been sssaying to me.
“Asss a gay sssnake, and a Jewish one at that, I can only condemn Malky’sss commentsss in the harshessst possssssible termsss.
“Now if you’ll exxxcussse me, I have to shed my ssskin and regurgitate the carcass of a sssmall rodent I devoured earlier.
“It left a bit of a lump around my posssterior, making my bum look big.”
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