Lloyd Bridges leaves Republic of Ireland post
- By Football Burp
Lloyd Bridges has left his post as Republic of Ireland manager by mutual consent, it has been confused.
The Bridges, Lloyd, bowed out with a World Cup qualifying defeat to Austria after five years of assembling the cream of the Republic of Ireland crop into a stultifying rabble distinctly at odds with his comedy persona.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Bridges confirmed that he would now return to his role of being a deceased Hollywood actor, famous for his roles in Sea Hunt, Airplane! and Hot Shots! Part Deux.
He said: “Looks like I picked the right week to quit managing Republic of Ireland.
“I’ll always look back with regret on my inability to fashion Jonathan Walters, Shane Long and John O’Shea into a team of all-conquering footballing nonpareils – there was always something missing.
“And I can sum it all up in just one word: courage, dedication, daring, pride, pluck, spirit, grit, mettle, and G-U-T-S, *guts*.
“Why, Richard Dunne’s got more guts in his little finger than most of us have in our large intestine, including the colon!
“I could have used another striker to play off Robbie Keane. Striker? Striker! Striker!
“No, not ‘strike her’. I said striker. Don’t strike her. Jeez.
“Looked like I picked the wrong starting XI to stop sniffing glue.”
More as we have it.