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Liverpool ordered to change anthem after Loris Karius left walking alone

Liverpool goalkeeper Loris Karius walked alone after the Champions League final
LONESOME: Loris (Image: Антон Зайцев)

Liverpool’s anthem has been found to be in breach of the Trade Descriptions Act after Loris Karius was left walking alone following the Champions League final defeat to Real Madrid.

The German goalkeeper embarked on a tearful apology lap after his two costly blunders gifted goals to Karim Benzema and Gareth Bale.

But his colleagues’ decision not to offer consolatory companionship has come in for stinging criticism from Trading Standards Officers.

They said: “We have written to Liverpool Football Club formally requesting they drop You’ll Never Walk Alone in light of last night’s events.

“There is recorded video evidence of Karius walking alone for at least five minutes, and we’re led to believe this continued upon the team’s return to the UK amidst last night’s storms.

“The song clearly stipulates that no one should be left walking alone in a storm under any circumstances, so it is only right that Liverpool update their anthem to bring it in line with changing attitudes.

“Suggestions we’ve provided include a change of wording to ‘you’ll sometimes walk alone’, or they could switch to Eric Carmen’s 1975 hit ‘All By Myself’.”