Leicester not done trolling Arsenal just yet

Fake News » Leicester not done trolling Arsenal just yet

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Riyad Mahrez has signed a new contract at Leicester City
REMAINING: Riyad (Image: Clément Bucco-Lechat)

Leicester confirmed they’re not yet done trolling Arsenal despite announcing that Riyad Mahrez has signed a new contract.

The Foxes ended months of speculation by tying down last season’s PFA Player of the Year to a four-year deal.

He follows Jamie Vardy in luring Arsenal into a transfer limousine before splatting a contractual pie in their face.

Sources close to Arsène Wenger indicate he’s spent the morning in his office waggling his fist and exclaiming “why I oughta!”.

And the embattled Gunners boss will be further disheartened to learn that the champions aren’t yet done foolin’.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Danny Simpson issued a come-and-get-me plea.

He said: “Sometimes when I look at you, Arsenal, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star.

“It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago.

“Maybe the star doesn’t even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything.

“I don’t know what they are called, the spaces between seconds – but I think of you always in those intervals.”

He continued: “I want morning and noon and nightfall with you, Arsenal. I want your tears, your smiles, your kisses.

“The smell of your hair, the taste of your skin, the touch of your breath on my face.

“I want to see you in the final hour of my life. To lie in your arms as I take my last breath.

“Nah, I’m just f***ing with you.”

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