Jones Puts Death Behind Him, Announces Shock Comeback as Wednesday Boss

Fake News » Jones Puts Death Behind Him, Announces Shock Comeback as Wednesday Boss

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New Sheffield Wednesday manager Dave 'Davy' Jones
Jones... Shock return (Img: Jon Candy)

Davy Jones has announced that he intends to follow up his death on Wednesday by replacing Gary Megson as manager of Sheffield Wednesday.

Despite shuffling off his mortal coil just two days ago, Jones, a believer, will now be entrusted with guiding the Owls safely onto the Last Train to Championshipsville in what will be his first managerial role since his Wile E. Coyote-esque attempts at taking Cardiff City up to the top flight.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp via Derek Acorah, Jones insisted that he does not intend to use the Hillsborough club as a Steppin’ Stone, and that he is fully focused on seeing the famous old Yorkshire side Take a Giant Step under his stewardship.

He said: “I’d just like to make it clear to the chairman and fans – I’ll Be True to You (Yes I Will).

“Tomorrow’s Gonna Be Another Day, a brighter day, and I Wanna Be Free of midweek trips to Exeter and Carlisle as much as anyone else. It’s hard to say no When Sheffield Wednesday Comes Knockin’ At Your Door, and if all goes to plan then I’ll Spend My Life With You.”

When asked what made him decide to come out of retirement from life, he said: “I just thought to myself What am I Doing Hanging ‘Round? It may be Hard to Believe that I’m here managing again just two days after passing away, and it’s not easy to put into Words how I feel, but frankly We Were Made for Each Other and now I’m here there’s No Time to waste in terms of getting this club back up to where it belongs.

“I’ll Be Back Upon My Feet, even after such a setback as dying, so there’s no reason why this club can’t be great again. The chairman might want to assess things As We Go Along, but it’s not Just a Game to me – I’m Looking for the Good Times, and if you think I won’t put my Heart and Soul into it then I Don’t Think You Know Me.”

He added: “Apparently there was a song on our 1996 album Justus called ‘Dyin’ of a Broken Heart’. That’s unfortunate.”

Mystic MegsonMystic Megson says: Got to admit, I didn’t see that one coming! Must be a spot of dust on the old crystal football…

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