Hughes Storms Out of Dining Room as QPR Link Gathers Pace

Fake News » Hughes Storms Out of Dining Room as QPR Link Gathers Pace

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Mark Hughes has been heavily linked with the QPR job.
Hughes... Ambitious (Image: Kate Boydell)

Mark Hughes sensationally walked out on a family dinner last night as rumours linking him with the vacant managerial job at Queens Park Rangers gathered pace.

In the wake of Neil Warnock’s latest Premier League hot air balloon crash, former Wales, Blackburn Rovers, Manchester City and Fulham boss Hughes was immediately installed as the bookies’ favourite to assume the responsibility of paying way over the odds for average players and bullishly deflecting blame for underwhelming performances at Loftus Road.

Speaking at a hastily arranged press conference this morning, Hughes’ wife lent credence to the reports when she informd the gathered throngs of slavering hacks that her husband stood up from his chair and left the room completely unannounced during the soup course, spending the rest of the night and all of today squatting at the back of the garden with his arms folded.

Mrs Hughes said: “He’s still out there now, clenching his jaw and muttering something about being an ambitious young manager.

“I wouldn’t mind but the smoke alarm keeps going off and he’s the only one who knows how to fix it.”

When he was eventually reached for comment, Hughes said: “I would like to take this opportunity to clarify that neither myself nor my representative have approached or have been approached by another club. This decision to leave the dining room has not been influenced by any outside party.

“I would like to thank my wife, my children, my pet Labradors and Albert and Trudy next door for their support over the last six months, and I wish them every success for the future. I hope they and everyone else who was present at my wife’s dinner party last night will understand that as a young, ambitious manager I wish to move on to further my experiences.

“I sincerely wish my family a successful 2012 and for their continued progress in and out of the dining room.”

QPR owner Tony Fernandes declined to comment on whether or not talks had been held, although he did admit to harbouring some concerns over Hughes’ track record of leaving his study to go and piss about in the snooker room.

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