Guardiola to Hart: “A ‘keeper ain’t no keeper ‘less he’s a sweeper”

Fake News » Guardiola to Hart: “A ‘keeper ain’t no keeper ‘less he’s a sweeper”

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Pep Guardiola has informed Joe Hart to get packing with a series of attitudinal pouts and hand gestures.

Hart remained on the bench for Man City’s 5-0 win at Steaua București, with Willy Caballero again preferred.

Guardiola has repeatedly insisted that “a ‘keeper ain’t no keeper ‘less he’s a sweeper”, usually followed by “nuh uh, girlfriend”.

But he has nevertheless offered Hart the chance to undertake a six-month sweeping course rather than move to Everton.

A fan of The Simpsons, Guardiola immediately set about handing the role of sweeping up to someone called Willy.

This leaves England’s number 1 out in the cold, with reports today suggesting he could place a loanly Hart ad.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Guardiola explained the reasoning behind his decision.

He said: “I don’t want no scrub, a scrub is a goalkeeper who can’t also perform effectively as a sweeper.

“It wasn’t easy cramming all those words into the melody, and it’s not easy sending Joe Hart on his way after all he’s done at this club.

“But I like to do some crazy sh*t with full-backs, know what I’m saying, and he’s gotta be down with that.”

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