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‘Friendly derby’ stock footage auditions open today

Panel of judges at secret location in Bow rumoured to include Steve McManaman.

By Jonny Abrams

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Stanley Park, eventual destination of friendly derby stock footage audition entrants
PARK: Stanley (Image: Rept0n1x)

‘Friendly derby’ stock footage auditions for BT Sport’s live coverage of Liverpool v Everton on Saturday opened this morning, it has been confirmed.

Fans of both sides, in many cases from the same family, were at the time of writing flocking to a secret location in Bow to walk hand-in-hand in front of a specially selected panel of judges including Steve McManaman.

The successful applicants will be filmed strolling together down Stanley Park in the direction of Anfield, laughing and joking as they thrust aloft purple scarves bearing the composites ‘Liverton’ and ‘Everpool’.

This footage will then be broadcast in slow motion at the beginning of BT Sport’s Merseyside derby coverage, fading out in a manner suggestive of such behaviour throughout the ages before cutting back to a simpering studio panel who will point out how marvellous it is before moving on to discuss Mario Balotelli’s big-match temperament.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, former Liverpool player and Everton supporter McManaman outlined some of the other key traits likely to lead to success in the friendly derby stock footage auditions.

He said: “We want to see how much Liverpool and Everton fans love each other – carrying around pictures of each other in their wallets, kissing behind the bike sheds, eating from the same plate of spaghetti and meatballs while being serenaded by a comical Italian stereotype.

“Getting rounds in, #FFing each other on Twitter, that sort of thing.”

Sky Sports have refused to confirm whether or not they intend to show footage of Arsenal and Tottenham fans swatting each other with rolled-up copies of The Guardian.