Fans warned against excessive hand-rubbing ahead of Northampton v Man Utd

Fake News » Fans warned against excessive hand-rubbing ahead of Northampton v Man Utd

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Hand-rubbing is on the rise ahead of Northampton v Man Utd
RUBBING: Hands (Image: Labelworks214)

Public Health England (PHE) has warned against excessive hand-rubbing ahead of the League Cup tie between Northampton and Man Utd.

The government agency, executive, also advised fans intending on watching the game not to eat too much popcorn or get their fingers caught in collapsable mini-chairs.

Nationwide productivity has been hit by the prospect of the League One club dumping out José Mourinho’s struggling side, with many spending hours rubbing their hands in anticipation instead of working.

But PHE has implored fans not to trigger an emergency services crisis by rubbing their hands to the bone, which they point out “can absolutely happen in extreme circumstances”.

A statement read: “In some instances we’ve seen people inadvertently start fires through excessive rubbing.

“While we appreciate the schadenfreude-loaded allure of this potential banana skin, our emergency services could be overwhelmed unless people take proper precautions.

“Limit your personal popcorn intake to just one of those large bags, two if it’s the sweet kind – the salty variety can dehydrate.

“And careful with those little chairs, they’re fiddly bastards.”

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