English youths celebrate scuppering May’s majority by winning World Cup
- By Football Burp
English youths today celebrated toppling Prime Minister Theresa May’s parliamentary majority by winning the under-20s World Cup.
A goal from Everton’s Dominic Calvert-Lewin was enough to secure a 1-0 win over Venezuela, whose celebrity fans ironically include Jeremy Corbyn.
The Labour leader’s inspiring anti-austerity message was integral to a huge turnout of young voters at Thursday’s General Election, called by May in expectation of a landslide.
While the movement was sufficient to result in a shock surge of support for Labour, it has left Corbyn with mixed feelings.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the 68-year-old UK grime icon hinted at the banter he’s been engaging in with Venezuelan president Nicolás Maduro.
He said: “We’ve been WhatsApping back and forth, of course.
“I mean, I’d been ribbing him anyway – your socialist paradise is a disaster, mine will be ace when I get in, that sort of thing – but today’s result has really escalated the repartee.
“I jokingly apologised for energising our nation’s young people, but in truth I knew very little about this England side before today.
“To be honest, I thought Lookman was the name of a Stormzy tune.”