England playing Germany tonight, apparently
- By Football Burp
The national team, perennially disappointing, will be taking on their German counterparts in Dortmund, in what will come as a blow to the millions of people to whom international breaks are total anathema.
In a further twist, Gareth Southgate’s Three Lions side are also rumoured to be facing Lithuania in a World Cup qualifier on Sunday.
That’s right, you heard it here first.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Steve, a football fan from Crawley, admitted he’d forgotten that international football was even still a thing.
He said: “So I take it there’s no Premier League football this weekend, then?
“I suppose I’d better go hibernate in the woods for a bit.”