Darren Bent regrets not buying the trainers marked ‘clearance’
- By Football Burp
The somehow-still-only-32-year-old had made headlines during the week for his vast collection of sneakers, accumulated at great expense on account of his footballer’s wealth.
He said: “The ones marked ‘clearance’, I just thought that meant they were on reduced sale and therefore not the type of trainer befitting a striker who once cost £24m.
“I now see that ‘clearance’ probably referred to how they help you to put your ****ing foot through the ball when you’re trying to boot it off the goal line.
“And the label saying ‘50% off’, that probably meant they were suggested for players who are approximately half as effective as they used to be.
“That’s if I’m being kind, which of course I’ve no need to be because this is a spoof story, and not a particularly funny or clever one.
“Go on then, YOU try and write something witty about Darren Bent and ****ing trainers.”