Dalglish Sneaks Into Top Twenty Liverpool Fans’ Scapegoats

Fake News » Dalglish Sneaks Into Top Twenty Liverpool Fans’ Scapegoats

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Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish
Dalglish takes the plaudits after climbing thirty-seven places to number 18 (Img: Saw from Singapore)

Kenny Dalglish has climbed to number eighteen in Liverpool supporters’ list of scapegoats after a Papiss Cissé brace condemned his Reds side to their sixth defeat in seven Premier League games.

The Anfield faithful’s latest blamefest stands as follows, from most to least blamed…

1. Evra

2. Sir Baconface [Alex Ferguson]

3. An FA conspiracy

4. The media

5. Lack of good fortune

6. Damien Comolli

7. People who don’t understand that Dalglish’s net spend is a lot lower than £115m, and that this therefore justifies lashing £35m on Andy Carroll, £20m on Stewart Downing, £20m on Jordan Henderson and £8.5m on Charlie Adam – because, and listen to me, if you sell a Rolls Royce for £50m and buy a Robin Reliant for £35m then that’s fine because technically you’ve only spent £15m on the Robin Reliant, which is obviously brilliant business.

8. Injuries

9. Hitting the woodwork not counting as a goal

10. The draining effects of that famous afternoon at Wembley when we vanquished Cardiff City on penalties to lift the Carling Cup

11. Chelsea

12. David Moyes

13. The unseasonably good weather we’ve been having of late

14. Some kind of gypsy curse

15. Dem Yanks

16. Not taking our chances, because as we all know you’ll get punished if you fail to take your chances at this level (ie. ground level)

17. Bees dying

18. Kenny Dalglish

19. Fast food culture

20. Oh yeah, Roy Hodgson

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