‘Chelsea sack manager’ template targets double figures by season’s end

Fake News » ‘Chelsea sack manager’ template targets double figures by season’s end

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Pep Guardiola managing Barcelona
Guardiola… Pep talk (Img: Ottobdn)

Chelsea have confirmed the sacking of ROBERTO DI MATTEO amidst rumours of PEP GUARDIOLA being lined up for the Stamford Bridge hotseat.

The ITALIAN, brought in IN MARCH to replace the outgoing ANDRE VILLAS-BOAS, had made a STRONG start to life as Blues boss by WINNING THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE AND FA CUP DOUBLE.

HOWEVER, a string of poor recent results culminating with LAST NIGHT’S 3-0 CHAMPIONS LEAGUE DEFEAT AT JUVENTUS has made up Roman Abramovich’s mind to once again say “eh, I’m bored of this guy now, let’s get the other guy”.

The above template said: “It’s an honour being rolled out again so soon after the last time, and the time before that, and all the other times before that.

“Not many templates get to nine appearances in one chairmanship, and yes it’s only natural to start wondering if I can make it ten before the season’s out. With Chelsea’s strike force in the state that it is, you never know.

“I’ve been lucky enough to work with some big names in the past – Jose Mourinho, Carlo Ancelotti, Luiz Felipe Scolari – but adding Pep Guardiola to my CV would be a real feather in my cap.

“I see Rafael Benitez as the ‘executive Avram Grant’ option, insomuch as he’d be more likely to win the shoot-out.”

The ‘New Chelsea Manager: Latest Odds’ template was not available for comment.

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