Champions League match fixing allegation makes everyone go “hmmm” at the same time

Fake News » Champions League match fixing allegation makes everyone go “hmmm” at the same time

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Chelsea v Barcelona
Chelsea v Barcelona… Was it? Could it’ve been? Hmm? (Img: John Dobson)

The Champions League match fixing allegation that’s rocked the nation is reported to have made everyone go “hmmm” at about 11:00 yesterday, it has been noted.

European police Europol – see what they did there? – claim to have uncovered an organised crime syndicate based in Asia that led to the fixing of a Champions League match held in England within “the last three or four years”, so everyone was all like “I wonder” and stroking their chins and that trying to think of which game it might’ve been.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, everyone in Runcorn reckoned that it must’ve been that one where Chelsea got robbed against Barcelona – not literally robbed of course but officiated somewhat harshly against, although Frank Lampard was lucky not to get burgled having left the window of his study open.

The people of Runcorn said, in unerring unison: “I hate Chelsea as much as the next Runcornian, but that game was just preposterous.

“Wasn’t it the semi-final or something? And then the Shed End issued a fatwa against the referee? What was his name?

“I suppose it could’ve been that one where…no, it’s got to be that one. When was it? Hang on, let me google it.

“Sorry, the reception’s not great here in Runcorn. Come on…”

They continued: “Yeah, here we go: Chelsea 1-1 Barcelona in 2009. It says here that Didier Drogba chased the ref around the pitch with a board with a nail in it. I never knew that.

“I suppose it is kind of weird that we, the people of Runcorn, have managed to utter precisely the same words simultaneously for at least three minutes now. I wonder how long it can keep going for.”

They added: “Maybe it’s…oh no, it’s still happening. This must be some kind of record by now, surely?”

In other news, some managers got sacked or something.

Which Champions League match do you think was fixed? Have your say in the comments section below…

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