Slaven Bilić has identified Man City striker Wilfried Bony as the man to cover for Michail Antonio at right-back.
The Croatian reacted angrily to suggestions that Antonio, who scored the winner against Bournemouth, should be playing further forward.
With an expression of sheerest incredulity, Bilić immediately got on the blower to Pep Guardiola and inquired about Bony’s availability.
He told Football Burp: “Pep said he’s seventh-choice striker at City.
“So I said, ‘Great, tell him he can come to West Ham and be second-choice right-back.
“Why not? He’s strong, he’s physical, he knows where the goal is. He reminds me of Alan Shearer, who started out as a right-back.
“I think Bony has everything we require to step in for Antonio when he finally snaps and scythes down an opposition winger in frustration.
“How do you like them positional apples?”
Enner Valencia was unavailable for comment as he was busy practising the offside trap.