Bullard announces retirement, hilarity ensues

Fake News » Bullard announces retirement, hilarity ensues

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Jimmy Bullard playing for Fulham
Bullard… Laugh a minute (Img: Nick)

MK Dons midfielder Jimmy Bullard has hilariously announced his retirement from professional football due to a rib-ticklingly ongoing knee injury.

The former Wigan Athletic, Fulham, Hull City and Ipswich Town midfielder, a right character, had the footballing community in stitches with his thigh-slappingly funny account of how two cruciate knee ligament injuries have left him unable to cope with the demands of League One football at the age of 33.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the crew of Sky Sports programme Soccer AM paid tribute to Bullard’s “top banter” before adding the suffix ‘-age’ to a number of words not normally associated with it.

They said: “We always had some great jokage with Jimmy whenever we went for the aftershow beerage, and we’ve had hysterical laughage at that clippage of him with Duncan Ferguson on each of the seven thousand and twenty-six occasions we’ve all watched it together.

“The silver linage of Jimmy’s sad announcement is that it is sure to provide plenty of opportunage for everyone to comb YouTube for all of his comedy goldage.”

Football Burp said: nothing, you idiots. Football Burp’s dead, it’s locked in your basement.

……
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Oh, go on then…

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