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Arsenal good again

Many supporters were too jubilant to go into work today, and had to phone in jubilant to their shocked bosses.

Fomalhaut b orbiting its sun
Arsenal are now even more amazing than this illustration showing the newly discovered planet Fomalhaut b orbiting its sun

Arsenal are now good again, according to Arsenal fans.

The Gunners, suddenly amazing, turned their season on its head with a 3-0 win in their Champions League qualifier first leg tie at Fenerbahce.

This latest shock result follows Saturday’s shock result, in which they succumbed to a shock 3-1 defeat to a shock Aston Villa side in front of a shocked Emirates.

Furthermore, jubilant Arsenal fans awoke this morning to the news that they were signing Karim Benzema and Angel Di Maria from Real Madrid, which made them even more jubilant.

Many supporters were too jubilant to go into work today, and had to phone in jubilant to their shocked bosses.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, an Arsenal fan declared himself satisfied that Arsène Wenger is once again worthy of his support and adulation, especially when they win the Premier League, Champions League and anything else with ‘League’ in it.

He said: “Except the League Cup, nobody cares about that.

“More of a Spurs thing, really. Although, should our hastily cobbled together XI of boy scouts from around the continent reach the final, it’s good again.

“This is known as Arsenal theory. It’s a bit like string theory except that, instead of it being a theoretical framework in which the point-like particles of particle physics are replaced by one-dimensional objects, it’s a load of football fans being drama queens.”

He added: “Wenger in! Er, for now!”