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Alex McLeish sightings gathering pace in Midlands area, police confirm

By Jonny Abrams

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Alex McLeish
Terrified locals survey the prowling Scotsman in their midst (Img: Alan Light)

Sightings of Scottish football manager Alex McLeish have been gathering pace in the Midlands area, police have confirmed.

McLeish, an Aquarius, was feared to be on the loose after Nottingham Forest officials went into his office this morning only to find a series of footprints leading up to a window that had been smashed open with a filing cabinet – and local authorities have since announced that they have been the recipients of a number of phone calls from panic-stricken football clubs claiming to have spotted “a ginger man running around growling and brandishing what appeared to be the results of an optician’s test”.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, West Bromwich Albion claimed to have deflected the attentions of the rampaging McLeish by tossing him some barm cakes that they happened to have to hand.

They said: “It was terrifying – he was heading straight for us and appeared to have an ageing, injury-prone midfielder concealed on his person.

“On another day we mightn’t have had any leftover barm cakes to toss in his general direction, and we’d have been powerless to prevent him from assuming our managerial hot seat and relegating us off the back of dour, defensive football.

“I saw Wolverhampton Wanderers across the street and I only hope they managed to get away in time. It’s every club for itself at times like this.”

Coventry City were not available for comment as they were too busy reinforcing all of their doors and windows with crowbars and planks of wood.