60-minute matches won’t be shorter: first fan clocks on

Fake News » 60-minute matches won’t be shorter: first fan clocks on

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60-minute matches could be timed on this watch
PRECIOUS: Time (Image: Joe Haupt)

Steve, a 42-year-old from Ealing in West London, has become the first football fan to work out that IFAB proposals for 60-minute matches won’t result in shorter games.

Following days of angry tweets and tabloid articles about how last season’s Premier League would have looked had matches ended on the hour mark, Steve took the bold step this morning of actually bothering to read up on the proposed measure.

Upon learning that most matches clock in at just shy of an hour when stoppages are factored out, Steve realised that matches would in fact be slightly longer.

He said: “We’ve got to get the word out to every man, woman and child who’s in love with the beautiful game.

“I myself was halfway through tweeting ‘LEAVE FOOTBALL ALONE YOU BLOODY BUREAUCRATS’ when I thought, you know what, let’s have a quick google of it.

“What I learned opened my eyes and I will dedicate the rest of my month to enlightening my fellow fans.”

Steve is expected to be included in the Her Majesty the Queen’s next honours list for services to bothering to keep properly informed.

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