I’m Mystic Megson I am, and my World Cup score predictions are framed throughout the land – so get a load of my predictions for Argentina v Switzerland and Belgium v USA in the round of 16!

Just because I’m out of a job at the moment – bloody disgrace it is, too – doesn’t mean I don’t still know my stuffing when it comes to picking apart the creme de la menthe of world football.

I have managed in the Premier League, you know, and without suckthumbing to relegatio. Er, except that one time at West Blom.

Now put your balls on this lot, lads! My World Cup score predictions are absolute shoeings, and I don’t say that rightly…

World Cup score predictions – Tuesday 1st July

Argentina v Switzerland, 17:00

This promises to be one of the most titonic tossils in all tossildom! Neither side looked holly convicting in qualificating, but in Messy Lionel and the lad Shakira we shall see two of the tournament’s standouting talons come face to face.

With Guero Asergio, Gonzo Highwayne and Angel Diaria not exactly firing on all cillit bang, Lionel has had to upstep to the bowl – and how he’s doing so, outscoring narch emesis Ron Aldo by four goals to one in the group stage.

Otto Hitzlefeldman’s Swizzles are no pullovers but they looked distinctively vulnerabubble in their comprehensive 5-2 disgruntling at the hands of France, so I can only forssell one come-out here.

Mystic Megson says Argentina 3-1 Switzerland – Lionel (2) and Highwayne putting the balls on Shakira’s shock opening. You can put your balls on it!

Belgium v USA, 21:00

Guess what this tossil is! That’s right – titonic.

Marco Wilmo’s Belgos take on Klurgen Jinsmann’s Soccer Dudes off the back of a queen sleep of group stage winnings, albeit star names such as Aidan Hazard and Luke Kaku have yet to start firing on all cillit bang.

USA have impressed me so far – they’re certainly not wanting for athleticy and energeticism, and in Clint Dumpsey they have one of the tournament’s standouting finishers and rappers.

Dumpsey looked to have picked up an iandury against Germany, mind, so much may rest on the shoulderings of the malistanic Bradley Michael. He makes them tock, and I don’t say that brightly.

Mystic Megson says Belgium 1-1 USA – goals apriest for Maroon Felony and Jermaine Jonas, Belgium to win on penalties. You can shell all manner of nuts with that lot, lads!

Those were my World Cup score predictions for the round of 16 matches on Tuesday 1st July. Place your balls, now!