The best Yaya Touré drinking jokes as player accepts drink-driving charge

Jokes » The best Yaya Touré drinking jokes as player accepts drink-driving charge

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There were lots of Yaya Touré drinking jokes after he accepted a drink-driving charge but claims he did not drink alcohol intentionally
What the party might have looked like

These were the best of the Yaya Touré drinking jokes after the Manchester City midfielder accepted a drink-driving charge despite insisting he does not drink alcohol.

The player was reportedly fined £54,000 and banned from driving for 18 months at Barkingside Magistrates Court after an alcohol reading of 75 micrograms per 100 millilitres of breath – almost three times the legal limit.

Touré later released a statement on Facebook explaining how he had told the court that he had not “intentionally consumed alcohol” and is said to have ‘thought he was drinking diet cola from a jug at a party, without realising it had brandy in it’.

He says that “it is well known that I am a Muslim and do not drink” but with some seemingly suspicious of this claim, here are the best Yaya Touré drinking jokes:

Toure has said he wasn't intentionally drinking.

Sounds just like when I go out I don't intentionally get smashed & fall asleep on a kebab. pic.twitter.com/vwQW03CAF1

— TheODDSbible (@TheOddsBible) December 13, 2016

@YayaToure you must have been pissed when you wrote this 😂😂

— Daz Clarke (@DazClarke91) December 13, 2016

Yaya (likely s)Touré, more like. https://t.co/0R0EDGCgUs

— McYulemins (@Danny_McMoomins) December 13, 2016

"I slipped & fell on 8 double vodka's and 4 Jagerbombs" pic.twitter.com/M7HlnTI21j

— Footy Accumulators (@FootyAccums) December 13, 2016

@YayaToure @philmcnulty the immaculate inebriation

— Tange (@TheTange) December 13, 2016

To be fair to Yaya Toure: who hasn't unintentionally consumed six pints and a Jagerbomb chaser? Happens all the time.

— Dan Levene (@danlevene) December 13, 2016

@FootyAccums them wine gums are a bastard

— michael saunders (@mickeysaunders) December 13, 2016

Yaya Toure's ‘I was not intentionally consuming alcohol’ has to be up there… pic.twitter.com/Noe0fO080O

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) December 13, 2016

Yaya Toure's excuse of ‘I was not intentionally consuming alcohol’ means he must have gone on a Chocolate Liqueur binge.

— Jon Imm (@JonImm) December 13, 2016

Yaya Toure's desk https://t.co/KiUXBSQCQA

— Football Burp ⚽ (@FootballBurp) December 13, 2016

Poor Yaya Toure. How was he supposed to know that Curiosity Cola stuff contains 0.5% alcohol. Must have drunk a whole lorry load.

— Greg Johnson (@gregianjohnson) December 13, 2016

Of course #YayaToure did not intentionally consume alcohol. He was too pissed to know what he was doing

— Mark Lewis (@MLewisLawyer) December 13, 2016

That must have been a hell of a brandy soaked mince pie to put Toure over the limit 🍺😂 pic.twitter.com/OCVOjchaDC

— Freebets.co.uk (@freebetscouk) December 13, 2016

#yayatoure is going to change his name to Mohammered

— chantelle (@chanfurneaux) December 13, 2016

Gonna start using the Yaya defence when I stumble home really pissed. Didn't intentionally drink alcohol, was accidental.

— Steven (@Esteemedkompany) December 13, 2016

Yaya Toure has spoken… pic.twitter.com/VyhzaOtfpw

— UNILAD Football (@UNILADFooty) December 13, 2016

If the City squad have anything about them, there'll be a life sized cardboard cut-out of Helen Mirren in Toure's dressing room spot by 8am.

— GeorgeWeahsCousin (@WeahsCousin) December 13, 2016

Ha ha. Come on Yaya. Just hold your hands up. I once thought I was eating a salad from a Chinese buffet pic.twitter.com/6dlTJbgkVg

— Jon Parkin (@Parky08) December 13, 2016

Rare footage of #YayaToure, forced to drink Alcohol, when he didn't want to! He clearly refused! #Hypocrite pic.twitter.com/8UR96SKIuC

— Mohsin Rizvi (@mozude) December 13, 2016

If your https://t.co/Tx4iBYDtXR & cant taste, Brandy in coke.He must eat shit sandwiches for breakfast & think it's peanut butter #yayatoure

— JOHNO (@davidaj09) December 13, 2016

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