These were the best of the Yaya Touré drinking jokes after the Manchester City midfielder accepted a drink-driving charge despite insisting he does not drink alcohol.
The player was reportedly fined £54,000 and banned from driving for 18 months at Barkingside Magistrates Court after an alcohol reading of 75 micrograms per 100 millilitres of breath – almost three times the legal limit.
Touré later released a statement on Facebook explaining how he had told the court that he had not “intentionally consumed alcohol” and is said to have ‘thought he was drinking diet cola from a jug at a party, without realising it had brandy in it’.
He says that “it is well known that I am a Muslim and do not drink” but with some seemingly suspicious of this claim, here are the best Yaya Touré drinking jokes:
Toure has said he wasn't intentionally drinking.
Sounds just like when I go out I don't intentionally get smashed & fall asleep on a kebab. pic.twitter.com/vwQW03CAF1
— TheODDSbible (@TheOddsBible) December 13, 2016
@YayaToure you must have been pissed when you wrote this 😂😂
— Daz Clarke (@DazClarke91) December 13, 2016
Yaya (likely s)Touré, more like. https://t.co/0R0EDGCgUs
— McYulemins (@Danny_McMoomins) December 13, 2016
"I slipped & fell on 8 double vodka's and 4 Jagerbombs" pic.twitter.com/M7HlnTI21j
— Footy Accumulators (@FootyAccums) December 13, 2016
— Tange (@TheTange) December 13, 2016
To be fair to Yaya Toure: who hasn't unintentionally consumed six pints and a Jagerbomb chaser? Happens all the time.
— Dan Levene (@danlevene) December 13, 2016
@FootyAccums them wine gums are a bastard
— michael saunders (@mickeysaunders) December 13, 2016
Yaya Toure's ‘I was not intentionally consuming alcohol’ has to be up there… pic.twitter.com/Noe0fO080O
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) December 13, 2016
Yaya Toure's excuse of ‘I was not intentionally consuming alcohol’ means he must have gone on a Chocolate Liqueur binge.
— Jon Imm (@JonImm) December 13, 2016
Yaya Toure's desk https://t.co/KiUXBSQCQA
— Football Burp ⚽ (@FootballBurp) December 13, 2016
Poor Yaya Toure. How was he supposed to know that Curiosity Cola stuff contains 0.5% alcohol. Must have drunk a whole lorry load.
— Greg Johnson (@gregianjohnson) December 13, 2016
Of course #YayaToure did not intentionally consume alcohol. He was too pissed to know what he was doing
— Mark Lewis (@MLewisLawyer) December 13, 2016
That must have been a hell of a brandy soaked mince pie to put Toure over the limit 🍺😂 pic.twitter.com/OCVOjchaDC
— Freebets.co.uk (@freebetscouk) December 13, 2016
#yayatoure is going to change his name to Mohammered
— chantelle (@chanfurneaux) December 13, 2016
Gonna start using the Yaya defence when I stumble home really pissed. Didn't intentionally drink alcohol, was accidental.
— Steven (@Esteemedkompany) December 13, 2016
Yaya Toure has spoken… pic.twitter.com/VyhzaOtfpw
— UNILAD Football (@UNILADFooty) December 13, 2016
If the City squad have anything about them, there'll be a life sized cardboard cut-out of Helen Mirren in Toure's dressing room spot by 8am.
— GeorgeWeahsCousin (@WeahsCousin) December 13, 2016
Ha ha. Come on Yaya. Just hold your hands up. I once thought I was eating a salad from a Chinese buffet pic.twitter.com/6dlTJbgkVg
— Jon Parkin (@Parky08) December 13, 2016
— Mohsin Rizvi (@mozude) December 13, 2016
— JOHNO (@davidaj09) December 13, 2016