The best jokes from two boring England games against Germany and Lithuania

Jokes » The best jokes from two boring England games against Germany and Lithuania

  • Share to Twitter
  • Share to Facebook
  • Share to Google+
  • Share to Google+
  • Share to WhatsApp
We don't know what Gareth Southgate would make of the jokes from England's 1-0 friendly defeat in Germany and their 2-0 World Cup qualifying win over Lithuania
SIMILAR: Southgate (Image: Ben Sutherland)

Two England games in quick succession for Gareth Southgate’s side drew more of the same uninspiring displays fans of the national team have become accustomed to.

Such was the apathy among the general public regarding the matches, this is a bundle of the best England jokes from both the 1-0 friendly defeat in Germany on Wednesday as well as last night’s 2-0 World Cup Qualifying Group F win over Lithuania at Wembley.

A new manager has heralded a similar dawn for the international squad, with many wearily aware of how the team is likely to perform come the first major tournament for the former Middlesbrough coach.

These were the best jokes from Germany 1-0 England and England 2-0 Lithuania:

Couldn't think of anything worse than going to an England away game surrounded by Scunthorpe and Blackpool fans singing don't take me home

— Ryan O'Neill (@ryan10mufc) March 21, 2017

Only the soccer thugs can save England

— Bronze Age Pervert (@bronzeagemantis) March 22, 2017

Jamie Vardy looks like a Sports Direct employee you've just asked to go out of their way for you… pic.twitter.com/SKSju5Cz8f

— TheFootballRepublic (@TheFootballRep) March 21, 2017

@England No Bale yet again

— Harry (@HarryCFC_) March 22, 2017

@hozanh_ @HarryCFC_ @England bale is spanish, that is why he plays for madrid

— Aaron Padhiar (@AaronPadhiar) March 22, 2017

If you're wondering how this England team is going to shape up, here you go: pic.twitter.com/DM5mDYxGkJ

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) March 22, 2017

Jamie Vardy will score today. He's motivated to score simply because Rudiger is marking him n he doesn't want to be pocketed by a darkie

— Jamie (@VerrattiMC) March 22, 2017

Germany: *Score*

England fans: "TWO WORLD WARS AND ONE WORLD CUP!" pic.twitter.com/FCDtfAPog1

— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) March 22, 2017

Germany 1-0 England.
"I thought Podolski was from Poland" – Ty. pic.twitter.com/BIqWCSf1tR

— Owen. (@OwenSeanMurphy) March 22, 2017

England fans clinging to the World War 2 songs like the kids who peaked in Year 10 & still hang around school gates trying to stay relevant.

— Greg Johnson (@gregianjohnson) March 22, 2017

You see Podolski fam, man NEVER scored goals like that for Arsenal, you know why blud? Arsene BLUDCLART Wenger. pic.twitter.com/xt75iC4AIO

— Roadman Dan (@roadmancode) March 22, 2017

Former England manager Roy Hodgson has revealed he turned down the chance to appear in Strictly Come Dancing.

— Pete O'Rourke (@SportsPeteO) March 23, 2017

Sickening that we lose 3 hours this weekend.

1 hour for the clocks going forward and 2 hours you'll never get back for England v Lithuania

— Luke (@LukeCW93) March 24, 2017

34yr old Jermain Defoe starting up front for England. Good to see the £105m we spent on a National Football Centre is bearing fruit.

— ODDSbible (@TheOddsBible) 26 March 2017

@England hello Defoe pic.twitter.com/SQ0aTY3K3N

— Jack (@ffsCostaa) March 26, 2017

Take a moment to think of Will Keane. He gives his Mum some chocolates. His brother gives her a competitive England debut at Wembley.

— CLARETY (@_clarety) 26 March 2017

The Lithuania national team's real life jobs is crazy pic.twitter.com/cLR4GPy0pY

— iblicalShart (@BiblicalShart) March 26, 2017

The Lithuania manager looks like he used to start fires with his mind when he was a kid then fled when the government tried to weaponise him pic.twitter.com/XSLKqk0dws

— Scott (@Flying_Inside) March 26, 2017

Jamie Vardy’s having a party bring your mascara and your eyeliner pic.twitter.com/57XDxGmU7A

— Aaron (@WAFCAaron) March 26, 2017

The best thing about being retired from international football is that I can now watch England play. The games are always very exciting.

— Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner) March 26, 2017

Today he scored against some Eastern European benefit scrounges and on Wednesday Article 50 will be triggered. What a week for Jamie Vardy

— Cartlon Cole (@_CarltonCole9) March 26, 2017

@FootyAccums yer ma loves cock g

— C (@angelsleftfoot) March 26, 2017

"They're trying to turn the fucking Queen into a Muslim mate, by the year 2020 Buckingham Palace is just going to be one giant mosque mate" pic.twitter.com/FDEk5QRqpC

— Ant Campbell (@acampbell68) March 26, 2017

When you watch England play football… pic.twitter.com/RzXAYmB1I5

— TheFootballRepublic (@TheFootballRep) March 26, 2017

GREAT GESTURE: The FA has given this young fan free tickets to watch the last 7 England games. pic.twitter.com/8Ia9RDNEC3

— Football Away Days (@AwayDayFooty) March 27, 2017

Share this article

  • Share to Twitter
  • Share to Facebook
  • Share to Google+
  • Share to Google+
  • Share to WhatsApp

Latest 50