A Wayne Rooney penalty after Raheem Sterling was brought down in the area by a Scandinavian defender was enough to secure a 1-0 win despite the Norwegians threatening throughout and only two shots on target for the home side.
Even some terrible defensive mistakes could not prevent England from winning their first game since the World Cup – a dutifully uninspiring clash in front of the lowest ever crowd for an international match since the stadium reopened.
Don’t miss the best jokes from England v Norway by bored fans:
30,000 fans at Wembley for an international match is pathetic – I guess that's what you get for not selecting Noble @england.
— West Ham Central (@WestHam_Central) September 3, 2014
Phew. Worried for a second at was a 7.45pm KO, but thankfully it is 8. Thus I shan't be forced to watch 15mins of England before Bake Off.
— Dan Levene (@BluesChronicle) September 3, 2014
Don't worry if you miss the 'start of a brand new era' for England. There'll be another one two years from now.
England's defence tonight: Jones, Stones, Cahill and Baines. Midfield: Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub.
— Jason (@NickMotown) September 3, 2014
How about the FA give the cup final tickets to actual fans & see if their affiliates want to go to England games instead?
— JB (@gunnerpunner) September 3, 2014
There are episodes of Teletubbies that I care more about than this England game.
— Römesh Ranganathan (@RomeshRanga) September 3, 2014
— Stuart Watson (@Stuart_Watson) September 3, 2014
When someone turns around and says they enjoy watching England friendlies. pic.twitter.com/jbACkDQzz1
— Not Match of the Day (@NOT_MOTD) September 3, 2014
England should buy a striker in this transfer window…
— Barclays League (@BarclaysLeague) September 3, 2014
Why are England still allowed to play football??? On TV?? Pre watershed?? What if any kids were to see it??
— Tash (@TashP351) September 3, 2014
— Kop Magazine (@TheKopMagazine) September 3, 2014
The awkward moment when a baking show produces more excitement than an England match.
— LADHumour (@LadHumour) September 3, 2014
England fans that couldn't be arsed to attend a meaningless friendly should be forced to ring the parents of a dead soldier.
— David (@lfcmaestro23) September 3, 2014
Next time England play overseas, we could cancel their passports. #kickball
— Andrew Brooks (@taxbod) September 3, 2014
BREAKING: Absolute scenes at Wembley Stadium as England finally score! pic.twitter.com/aQQxtDQGcn
— BBC Sporf (@BBCSporf) September 3, 2014
Anonymous but scores a penalty – the England captaincy torch has been passed seamlessly
— Nick (@ManUnitedYouth) September 3, 2014
There's been more captains for England tonight than goals.
— Pro-Direct Soccer (@ProD_Soccer) September 3, 2014
With some England players' form recently, they couldn't score in Rotherham if they were outside a kebab shop dressed as a 6 year old girl.
— Callum Mansell (@CallumMansell92) September 3, 2014