Replacing the departing Steven Gerrard who has decided to retire from international football following this summer’s debacle of a World Cup campaign, the striker has seemingly been chosen to lead the side by national manager Roy Hodgson in the absence of of many (any?) suitable alternatives.
After the not wholly unexpected announcement, take a look at this collection of the best jokes as Wayne Rooney is named England captain.
Wayne Rooney – a shining example of what can be achieved if you get your head down, work hard, and never rock the boat.
— Macca (@The_Paris_Angel) August 28, 2014
To celebrate Wayne Rooney being named England captain I've made these commemorative figurines. pic.twitter.com/NlJ8RmrrJu
— Phil Gibson (@philgibson01) August 28, 2014
Rooney captain? Personally I'd have gone for John Terry.
— Scott (@R_o_M) August 28, 2014
If the past lot were the 'Golden Generation', this new squad led by Wayne Rooney is the 'Golden Shower Generation'. In that it is piss poor.
— Greg Double (@Dubstep1988) August 28, 2014
It's a modest little number, Wayne Rooney's website: http://t.co/XpTkrogEnl
— Andrew Thomas (@andi_thomas) August 28, 2014
Congratulations to Wayne Rooney on his newly-confirmed schedule of upbeat interviews in May 2016, and sullen trophylessness in June 2016
— Gavan Reilly (@gavreilly) August 28, 2014
Rooney didn't write this. Grammar is too good https://t.co/Nd1Zn5hyBD
— Tom Gordon (@GoonerGordo) August 28, 2014
@PushThemWide The mind games begin.
— Keelan O'Neill (@OptimusTractorX) August 28, 2014
Rooney: 'I've played under some fantastic captains and hope I've picked up their qualities' pic.twitter.com/MPD8pXutd6
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) August 28, 2014
"We'll never win anything with Rooney as captain" What, as opposed to the countless bloody trophies we won under Gerrard, Beckham & Terry?
— Jim Royle (@SirJimRoyle) August 28, 2014
Rooney England captain? Cant have a player whos made numerous mistakes in the past and had the fans hate him be skip! pic.twitter.com/MAjoouTkU2
— Staniland (@BrettStaniland) August 28, 2014
I spend all day worrying about Diana Beard's baked Alaska, and NOW you tell me an MP has defected to UKIP & Wayne Rooney is England captain!
— Benjamin Butterworth (@benjaminbutter) August 28, 2014