Football Burp caught up with guitarist David Roy and bassist Ryan McGinness from Glaswegian noise-poppers Dananananaykroyd just before their blistering show at Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen to discuss their beloved Celtic, including how John Hartson financially crippled a foolhardy friend and whether or not Mick McCarthy is a handsome man or a David Icke-esque lizard in disguise…

Are you confident of keeping your key players this summer?

Ryan: Izaguirre, Kayal and Gary Hooper are the three most important ones to keep hold of.

David: There haven’t been any bids so far. Once a big bid comes in then we’ll see but I think they’re going to stay.

What did you make of the whole malarkey with Neil Lennon receiving bullets in the post?

Ryan: He’s a really good guy and what’s going on is just absolutely ridiculous.

David: It’s nightmarish almost.

Who would you name as your top five favourite Bhoys?

Ryan: Lubo Moravčík. Henrik Larsson, obviously.

David: John Hartson.

Ryan: Aye, John Hartson.

David: When John Hartson came, my friend Ben said to my other friend, “I’ll give you £5 for every goal John Hartson scores over five.” And he scored over one hundred goals for Celtic, so Ben was very poor! (Returning to the question at hand) Neil Lennon.

Ryan: Aye, Lennon.

David: And…er…

Ryan: Ronaldo.

David: (Laughs) Aye, Cristiano Ronaldo.

Paulo Di Canio? Jorge Cadete? Paul Lambert?

David: I would say Pierre van Hooijdonk. He came at a time when Celtic needed a proper superstar. He wasn’t quite that but he was definitely up there as ‘star signings’ go for Celtic.

Ryan: The first Celtic game I ever went to was an away game at Motherwell – it was nil-nil and I got lifted over the turnstiles like back in the day. Pierre van Hooijdonk scored a goal which got chalked off and that was the most exciting thing that happened that day so, since then, I’ve always held a special place for him. Plus, when I was younger, we always used to bagsy who got to be Pierre van Hooijdonk or Cadete or Di Canio and I always used to go with Pierre.

David: Shunsuke Nakamura was the greatest passer of the ball and free-kick specialist that Scotland has ever seen. He doesn’t get as much credit as he deserves because he’s pretty lightweight and a big, burly Scottish guy would take the ball off him pretty easily…

Ryan: Mick McCarthy as well, obviously, just because he’s an absolute legend and I love him.

David: (Adopts thick Yorkshire accent as part of an unintelligible – at least to Football Burp’s ears – impersonation of McCarthy. Something about “t’basics”?)

Would you agree that he looks a bit like a Mars Attacks alien?

Ryan: I think he’s very handsome.

David: He does kind of look like he’s wearing a human skin and he’s a lizard underneath or something.

Ryan: He’s a handsome man. I won’t take any bad talk about Mick McCarthy.

David: What’s Mick McCarthy’s favourite film? (Reverts to dour Yorkshire accent) T’Matrix.

…

Ryan: …

David: …

Let’s leave it at that, then. Ryan, David, thank you.

Dananananaykroyd’s second album There Is A Way is out now on the band’s own Pizza College label. For more information and a list of live dates, please visit dananananaykroyd.co.uk