World Cup Awards for Brazil 2014? Well kiss my grits, we can’t stop thinking them up! This’ll have to be a multi-parter.
Let’s be getting on, then, with the first installment of our World Cup Awards…
Champ of Brazil 2014
The pressure was on the Germany manager to finally make champions of their “golden generation”, and it was achieved with a culmination of wins against Brazil and Argentina in South America.
That Brazil win didn’t half make history and all. 0-5 after half an hour? It was enough to make you wince.
Just having a cheeky beer with Merkel there. Well, a Bud anyway. It’s a bit like beer, sort of.
Löw must also be commended for maintaining a quite splendid head of hair throughout four major tournaments now, all of which have entered varying degrees of ‘latter stages’.
Chump of Brazil 2014
Newly of Paris Saint-Germain, at quite some cost, Luiz was being talked about as one of the players of the tournament until the suspension of his more defensively minded centre-back partner Thiago Silva exposed the true madness at the heart of his incessant forays forward.
The Germans punished Luiz’s indiscipline with all the ice-cold ruthlessness we’ve come to expect from that nation of unflappable penalty takers.
Absolutely imperturbable, they are.
Chomp of Brazil 2014
The Barcelona false 9’s Chiellini chomp just edges out the chomp of the England fan who bit another England fan’s ear off at the 2-1 defeat to a Suárez-fuelled Uruguay.
Here’s a picture of Suárez biting one fan’s shoulder at a bus stop…
Special mention also for the Chomp Rickie Lambert brought with him from home (along with three Wham bars and a packet of Discos).
Chimp of the Tournament
Or, more precisely, the monkey he got off his back by scoring his first World Cup finals goal.
Injury of Brazil 2014
The England physio was left ashen-faced after injuring himself tripping on a water bottle celebrating Daniel Sturridge’s equaliser against Italy.
He had to be stretchered off and flown home. England scarcely outlasted him.
Weird Massive Grasshopper Thing of Brazil 2014
The one that landed on Colombia’s James Rodríguez as the golden boot winner celebrated his goal against Brazil…
Song of Brazil 2014
Ivory Coast fans
We can’t find a clip or even a mention of it for love nor money, but the mad percussive music that Ivory Coast fans performed for almost the entirety of their 2-1 win over Japan was fantastic.
A nod too to the Japanese fans who were pictured picking up litter in their section after the game. Tidying up, or cashing in on the recycling? You decide!