Tweety Camera’s Twits of the Week!

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Tweety Camera's Twits of the Week!Hello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so.

All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own – signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United

Young striker Sam Winnall, on loan at Inverness Caledonian Thistle from Wolverhampton Wanderers, is certainly a lad after my own heart (and with a name like that, he may well win it too)…

Sam, I’m also a big fan of Will Ferrell’s work – he has done so much to highlight class divide and incompetence at levels of authority (Anchorman), the criminally overlooked contribution of elves to our society (Elf) and many, many more issues which I’m sure shall be dealt with in Anchorman 2. Truly an outstanding body of work, except for Step Brothers. That was just foul. Hang on, Gary Lineker’s on the line…

Personally, I glean a lot of satisfaction from making a really top-class pizza from scratch. I also like Mad Men, Take Me Out and the occasional half of Hoegaarden – but yes, watching Messi is pretty nice.

LOL! Looks like you’ve been brought bang to rights, Gary! Your wife is indeed lovely, as is encouraging our nation’s children to feast themselves obese on deep friend potato bits. Barcelona may be great, the kind of great that makes commentators chuckle to themselves about just how great they are, but Arsenal youngster Chuba Akpom went a bit overboard…

Real Madrid? LOL! I wonder what kind of banter Everton pair Phil Neville and Tim Cahill have been dishing up to each other…

Hats off, Tim – that’s a corker! But Phil will be cooking something up in return, you can bet your bottom dollar. Oh, I do love banter. It reminds me of my mixed fortunes in England with Liverpool and West Ham, two of the most banter-happy clubs you could wish to play for. This one time, Dietmar Hamann called me a ‘queg’. I didn’t know what it meant then and I don’t know what it means now. LOL! Ah, here comes my good buddy Chris ‘Kammy’ Kamara…

LOL!

LOL!

Sounds like you’ve had a courgette there, Watford youngster Bernard Mensah. Here are some recipes for you to be getting on with.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! I can’t believe he said that! Unbelievable, Jeff! Will the banter never cease at Everton? Meanwhile, Ruud Gullit seems to have something he wants to get off his chest…

Not lately, Ruud, although…no, I guess you wouldn’t be interested in any of that. *Sigh*

Does he hang around with a hat, a boot, a dog and a ship? Only kidding, young Barnet defender Jack Saville!

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Have a good week, everybody!

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