Tweety Camera’s Twits of the Week

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Tweety Camera's Twits of the Week!Hello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so.

All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own – signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United

Happy start-of-summer-sort-of everyone! How have you been celebrating the return of Mr Blue Sky? Me, I’ve been sitting in the garden in my pants listening to nothing but Steppenwolf. You never know how you’re going to respond, right?

I know how you feel, Celtic midfielder Joe Ledley – I haven’t been on holiday for weeks. A nice getaway would be just the ticket. Going anywhere nice?

Hello?

LOL! Great response to Eden Hazard’s announcement that he’s joining Chelsea, former Swindon Town and Middlesbrough striker Jan Aage Fjortoft! I remember you, you were famous for your ‘aeroplane arms’ goal celebration, weren’t you? Perhaps you can give Celtic’s former Cardiff City midfielder Joe Ledley a lift to wherever he needs to go. LOL! That’s just my surrealist sense of humour shining through again.

Good one, Stuart! I know, I’ll phone Everton skipper Phil Neville, see if he’s got any good banter to chip in…

Hmmm, sorry Phil. Liverpool by the sword, die by the sword, eh? LOLOLOL!!! Anyway, did anyone see Monday’s Panorama? I couldn’t believe the levels of fascism in Poland and Ukraine, and neither could veteran Reading striker Jason Roberts…

I’ve got it, Jason: “Let’s have your signatures placed on a treaty, or you’ll have to deal with Jason and Tweety!” What do you think? My daughter reckons it’s “jokes”. I’m not sure whether that means she likes it or not but I have enough confidence in the idea to give her the benefit of the doubt.

No. LOLOLOLOL!!!! Hang on, Louis Saha’s on the line…

Louis, are you okay?

Are you okay, Louis?

What’s going on? I’m scared.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!! Nice one, mate! Apparently, Hazard has failed a medical at Chelsea because…oh wait, that’s the same joke. Sorry mate.

Finally, here is conclusive proof – as if any were needed – that Everton star Tim Cahill loves things that begin with ‘Adel’…

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Merry weekend, everybody!

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