Tweety Camera’s Twits of the Week! (23.02.12)

Collections » Tweety Camera’s Twits of the Week! (23.02.12)

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Tweety Camera's Twits of the Week!Hello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so. All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…


Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own – signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United

Who says footballers don’t have good taste in music? Young Arsenal striker Benik Afobe has his finger right on the pulse when it comes to all the very latest top sounds…

Arsenal youngster Benik Afobe

Benik, as a fellow Bolton fan (Michael that is, not Wanderers! LOL!), I have to say that this has made my day. Which of his seventeen studio albums is your personal favourite? Everyone’s got one! For the record, mine is 2002’s Only a Woman Like You – it takes me back to my unsuccessful stint at Upton Park in the early noughties, and really speaks to me, even though I’m not a woman. That takes a special kind of genius.

Yes, music is something us footballers take very seriously – it soothes us before and after matches, livens up the early morning drive to training, soundtracks our weekend Doctor Who marathons (I was never really into nightclubs). Zak Ansah, another young Arsenal striker, clearly finds Drake to be of inspiration to him…

Arsenal youngster Zak Ansah

…whereas Cardiff City hit man Robert Earnshaw basks in the wisdom of his idol, Will Smith…

Cardiff City striker Robert Earnshaw

Words I’m sure we can all learn a lot from. Anyway, I almost forgot to mention another Arsenal youngster, winger Anthony Jeffrey, who has clearly been seeing things…

Arsenal youngster Anthony Jeffrey

Now, I still keep in touch with Martin Tyler – we Skype about once a week, and are currently contesting three simultaneous games of Scrabble on Facebook – and I know for a fact that he’s not done any filming of late that involved him coming out of a shower.

Arsenal youngster Anthony Jeffrey

As the psychiatrist said to the man wearing nothing but cling film round his waste: “I can clearly see your/you’re nuts!” LOL! Only joking, Anthony. Now, former Swindon Town and Middlesbrough goal-getter Jan Aage Fjortoft had an interesting question for his followers…

Former Swindon Town and Middlesbrough striker Jan Aage Fjortoft

Well Jan, I took the liberty of Googling your enquiry, and it appears that the answer is: no. In mitigation, money can buy you the necessary surgery to look younger, but you wouldn’t actually be younger. Of course, you could always be a Nigerian footballer – LOL! Only joking, Nigeria.

Anyway, if you’re anything like me, you’ll have been asking yourself: how did Newcastle United right-back Danny Simpson spend Pancake Day?

Newcastle United defender Danny Simpson

Well, there’s your answer, at least in part. Who knows if he eventually did get to eat a pancake? It’s little subplots like this that makes the beautiful game what it is, isn’t it? Take Middlesbrough defender Justin Hoyte and his love of a certain soft drink not commonly available on these shores…

Middlesbrough defender Justin Hoyte

When something like this gets stuck in your mind, it can be all-consuming…

Middlesbrough defender Justin Hoyte

…even to the point of pursuing drastic measures…

Middlesbrough defender Justin Hoyte

Seriously though, I know how Justin feels. I once found a chilli and ginger Ribena in a newsagents on Barking Road – it was amazing, but I never saw it again, anywhere. Mystifying, and every bit as disappointing as when West Ham successfully defended the High Court breach of contract claim I brought against them in 2003.

Hang on, former Chelsea and Leeds United midfielder Jody Morris wants to say something…

Former Chelsea and Leeds United midfielder Jody Morris

Tell us where you had it next time, Jody! I’d rather have that than whatever Everton youngster Jon Nolan has been eating…

Everton youngster Jon Nolan

Oh deary me! Let’s end with something nice, like this Valentine’s Day Tweet from Sky Sports News presenter Georgie Thompson…

Sky Sports News presenter Georgie Thompson

Georgie, just give me the word and I’ll…

RIP Whitney. Your light shines on.

Tune in every Thursday for more from Football Burp’s very own Tweety Camera!

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