Tweety Camera’s Twits of the Week! (19.01.12)

Collections » Tweety Camera’s Twits of the Week! (19.01.12)

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Tweety Camera's Twits of the Week!Hello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so. All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that got me 23 goals in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…


Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own –  signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United

I can tell you from my time on Merseyside that this is indeed how Scousers talk to each other…

Wayne Rooney and Joey Barton

Is right, lad! To be fair though, Joey Barton is a tad more eloquent than Wayne Rooney, as he proved with this exemplary rant against Paris Hilton after discovering that, by virtue of appearing on the same FHM cover, he technically featured on her Twitter profile pic…(for those who aren’t Twitter literate – Twitterate, even! – read from the bottom up, as it were)…

Joey Barton on Paris Hilton

Joey Barton on Paris Hilton

While on the subject of shooting from the hip, in-form Norwich City centre-forward Grant Holt was typically forthright about his chances of an England call-up…

Grant Holt

LOL! Great stuff, Grant! But let’s put the following one down to a predictive text mishap…

Grant Holt Carrot Road

Maybe that’s what happens when you spend too long in East Anglia! Only joking, anyone reading who might hail from the area – some of my favourite areas of marshland are in East Anglia, and I really identify with Delia Smith’s method for poaching eggs. After all, I used to poach goals for a living! Forgive my jocularity, I’ve spent the last few days embroiled in a How I Met Your Mother marathon. Hang on, my erstwhile Anfield strike partner Michael Owen is calling…

Michael Owen Ali Al-Habsi

Good question, Mikey. I’m going to plump for that Vorm fellow at Swansea City. What do you think, readers? Have your say in the comments section below! Hang on, Michael wants to say something else…

Michael Owen wee

LOL! We’ve all been there, Mikey! Cracking stuff. Another man after my own heart – not literally, of course! Ha! Ha! – is Sheffield United defender Andy Taylor…

Andy Taylor Soccer AM dance-off

Andy, Soccer AM is my favourite show – I haven’t missed a single episode since I hung up my boots in 2006 following a brief spell with French side Amiens – and I thought this year’s dance-off was the funniest yet. I was laughing so hard the cat bolted outside and hid up a tree! Meanwhile, Everton midfielder Diniyar Bilyaletdinov quipped…

Diniyar Bilyaletdinov

How does he come up with this stuff? Keep ‘em coming, Dini! And tell your Toffees teammates to be careful what they say about the ladies next week – they’re very sensitive, as Paul Jewell recently found out to his cost…

Louis Saha

Phil Neville

Phil Neville apology

Not to be outdone, the Goodison Park club’s defensive prospect Jon Nolan continued to keep me thoroughly entertained this week, firstly with this critical missive to fellow Toffees youngster Adam Forshaw…

Jon Nolan Adam Forshaw

He then took on the great Muhammad Ali…

Jon Nolan Muhammad Ali

Before establishing his lad credentials with these back-to-back gems…

Jon Nolan lad

I’d hate to get on his bad side! Chortle. Now, I like a laugh as much as the next former Guinea international striker, but I’d like to once again end on a serious note by joining Wolverhampton Wanderers defender George Elokobi in paying my respects to Dave the club kit man, a man whose services at Molineux apparently spans back decades…

George Elokobi tribute to Dave the kitman

RIP Dave – I hope the lads do you proud this weekend. Same time next week, folks! Take good care of yourselves, and each other.

Tune in every Thursday for more from Football Burp’s very own Tweety Camera!

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