Tweety Camera: Leiva, Assou-Ekotto, Meyler, Rose, Ricketts, Wainwright

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Tweety Camera's Twits of the Week: Leiva, Assou-Ekotto, Meyler, Rose, Ricketts, WainwrightHello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so.

All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own – signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United

Hello everyone! A lot of you have been writing in asking me to start picking my hash tag of the week, so here is my first, courtesy of former Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur and Wolverhampton Wanderers midfielder Rohan Ricketts…

LOL! Football indeed! Can’t fault you there, Rohan. Good luck with your search.

Say, where are you going, Liverpool midfielder Lucas Leiva?

That’s great! You must be excited about that, hey Lucas?

Hello?

Oh well – a good stat will satiate my curiosity.

I’ve taken a few penalties against spiders in my time and more often than not they’ve just gotten squished. This one time a tarantula managed to palm away my cheeky deft chip down the middle, but I put that one down more to chance than any kind of anticipation on the tarantula’s part.

Let’s face it, if you attempt one hundred deft chips down the middle from the penalty spot and the goalkeeper is a tarantula, they’re not all going to go in. I didn’t take a hundred shots – in fact it was my only one as it was taken during a penalty shoot-out – but that time just so happened to be the one where the tarantula goalkeeper saves it. (Incidentally, the opposition had started with a chicken in goal but the tarantula came along and ate it. That was a scary tarantula.)

Before Jermaine Pedant intervenes, I’m aware that tarantulas don’t have palms.

LOL!

I’m actually a bit of a fan of insects as I’ve just started keeping my own beehives. Putting on that suit and wading into all those bees, well, it helps me take my mind off things when things start to get a bit too much in my official capacity as sports minister of my native Guinea. I have to do a lot of travelling and I sure do miss those bees when I’m away. I wonder what they’re doing right now.

LOLOL! Yes, I do suppose you’re right, Danny.

I do suppose you’re right.

Ditto! LOL!

LOL!

LOL?

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!

Happy weekend everybody!

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