Tweety Camera: Gullit, Lennon, Dublin, Dicks, Bennett, Dalglish, Horlock

Collections » Tweety Camera: Gullit, Lennon, Dublin, Dicks, Bennett, Dalglish, Horlock

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Tweety Camera's Twits of the Week: Gullit, Lennon, Dublin, Dicks, Bennett, Dalglish, HorlockHello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so.

All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own – signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United

Hello everybody! Did you enjoy transfer deadline day? I haven’t been so excited since my famous winner at Highbury in 2000. Transfer deadline day is just so…so…

LOL! It sure is! What do you like most about transfer deadline day, Norwich City midfielder Elliott Bennett?

There were indeed, Elliott – even after the window closed! Can you imagine that? Shutting a window and having a bird still fly through it! LOL! LOLOLOL!!!

It’s just so implausible, I don’t know what’s real anymore! Help! LOL!

Sorry Neil, got a bit carried away there. How’s life at Serie A club Pescara, Vladimir Weiss?

LOL! That’s saying something for someone who’s already played in Manchester, Bolton and Glasgow! Seems like everyone’s on the move at the moment. Where are you going, my fellow former Hammer (albeit not at the same time) Julian Dicks?

I did a Q&A session in Grays back in my Upton Park heyday. First hand goes up – “who are you?” I’m Tweety Camera, I say. “You’re not Kaba Diawara?” No, I say – Tweety Camera. “Sorry, my mistake.” Then he left. Gutted. Clearly he never saw my famous winner at High…oh right, I already mentioned it.

LOL! Tell you another thing I forgot – Ruud Gullit’s birthday!

All together now! “Happy birthday to Ruuuuud! Happy birthday to Ruuuuuuuuuuuud! Happy birthday dear…” LOL! For this special occasion I have arranged for former Crystal Palace and England midfielder to use some modern street slang…

LOL! What did you think of Robin van Persie’s penalty miss against Southampton, Dion Dublin?

What, you mean like this?

Laces through the pen

Only joking Dion! LOL! Sorry, I make jokes when I get nervous, and I tend to get nervous around guys who’ve had their manhood described as “magnificent” by none other than Sir Alex Ferguson.

Was? What do you know, Robbie? And do you know if Leicester City midfielder Neil Danns got the results of his test back yet?

Oh, I’m sorry, Neil. Looks like Robin banged one in after all. LOL!

I’m sorry, that was really insensitive. Just trying out some edgier material – I daresay I don’t feel comfortable with it, though. But I do enjoy getting ex-players to employ modern-day youth patois! Here’s another one for you, Ruud…

LOL! What do you think about that, Paddy? Ooh, sorry – didn’t realise you were talking to FIFA.

Hey! You stole my idea!

Stop doing that! Benny, are you seeing this?

LOL! That’s not helpful, Benny.

LOL!

LOLOL!!

LOLOLOL!!! See you next week, everybody!

Tune in every Thursday for more from Football Burp’s very own Tweety Camera!

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