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Tweets of the Week: Collymore v UKIP, Bale accolade, frisky Jensens and more!

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Danny Murphy
Murphy… Here he is retiring (Image: Twitter/Ian Abrahams)

Our Tweets of the Week include Stan Collymore v UKIP, a Gareth Bale accolade, some frisky Jensens and much more besides…

Tête à Tête of the Week

Stan Collymore v UKIP

@StanCollymore Read a book, learn definition of "fascism", look at UKIP policies and realise your error, apologise.

— Barry Cooper UKIP (@waddesdonbaz) October 8, 2013

Dear @waddesdonbaz, can you state clearly that you don't want any male or female who's made a mistake in life to vote for you? Pls clarify.

— Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore) October 8, 2013

@StanCollymore Of course not. Was responding, admittedly perhaps too emotively, to your erroneous charge of fascism. Nothing more.

— Barry Cooper UKIP (@waddesdonbaz) October 8, 2013

@StanCollymore Will go further – I apologise, was a low blow. Should focus on debating the charge not attacking your past.

— Barry Cooper UKIP (@waddesdonbaz) October 8, 2013

The reference to Stan Collymore’s past would appear to have been deleted.

Banter Buddies of the Week

Ian Abrahams, talkSPORT and Alastair Campbell, former Labour spin doctor

Hay @campbellclaret good to see you earlier – forgot to ask what spin will you put on Burnley's Cup defeat to West Ham lol

— Ian Abrahams (@BroadcastMoose) October 10, 2013

It’s hardly the Iraq war, Ian.

Zing! of the Week

This guy

Breaking News – Danny Murphy has this morning retired from playing football pic.twitter.com/i9kkMZPuHB

— Ian Abrahams (@BroadcastMoose) October 10, 2013

@BroadcastMoose I thought he did that once he signed for Blackburn.

— Dabooka (@DabookaUK) October 10, 2013

Arf! of the Week

Gabriel Fernando, Manchester United

I overheard my girlfriend tell her Friends I'm a "keeper". What an idiot, I play midfield

— Gabriel Fernando (@Gabby_Fernando) October 2, 2013

Exclusive of the Week

talkSPORT’s Sports Breakfast

The former #England cricketer Allan Lamb has just told the show that Adnan #Januzaj has an important decision to make over England interest

— Alan Brazil (@sportsbreakfast) October 7, 2013

What a scoop!

Accolade of the Week

Gareth Bale, Real Madrid

Gareth Bale, voted Wales’s Best Footballer of 2013 http://t.co/htAiEzaror #halamadrid

— Real Madrid C.F. (@realmadriden) October 8, 2013

Wales’s best footballer. Drink it in, Gareth.

Potential Accolade of the Week

Gus Poyet, Sunderland manager

Poyet was my original choice post MoN. In my opinion has potential to be the best Sunderland manager of the modern era. #totalfootball

— DAVID JONES (@DavidJonesSky) October 8, 2013

The best Sunderland manager of the modern era!

Five or six wins should do it.

“Cough, Please” of the Week

The cover of the personalised Crawley Town version of FIFA 14

Looks like big Emile is doing the vinny jones on gazza with my expression @ConnorEssam looks like he likes it pic.twitter.com/T6iSkqvUkY

— nicky adams (@nickyadams10) October 7, 2013

Corrupted Memory of the Week

Grant McCann, Peterborough United

Love this photo of me and my boy Bayley. pic.twitter.com/xXbmR4jKLf

— Grant mccann (@grantmccann11) October 10, 2013

Looks more like two photos to us, Grant.

Cheezing of the Week

Kei Kamara, Middlesbrough

Just got a follow from @LuisFigo account. I got very EXCIT!!!! Is this the Real Luis Figo (cheezing)?

— KEI KAMARA (@keikamara) October 10, 2013

Blue tick = real, Kei. Congratulations!

Nasty Shock of the Week

Max Rushden, Soccer AM/talkSPORT

*panic* pic.twitter.com/WB1sKwZZqn

— Max Rushden (@maxrushden) October 8, 2013

Interesting Bloke of the Week

Joe Ledley, Celtic

The best Cardiff bus was no61 pentrebane

— Joe ledley (@joe16led) October 10, 2013

Bungled Adage of the Week

Harry the Hornet, Watford mascot

We've said it before… & will again in the future, football is a funny old world…. Right, I'm off to paint some walls

— OfficialHarryHornet (@1HHornet) October 10, 2013

Not sure anyone says that, Harry.

“Funny old game”, on the other hand…

Shooting the Shittu of the Week

Jason Brown, ex-Gillingham

@danshittu Dan holla at me please

— Jason Brown (@greathover32) October 8, 2013

Spicy Marriage of the Week

Mr and Mrs Brian Jensen, ex-Burnley

@SexFactsOfLife: Foods that make people horny: chocolate, oysters, avocado, bananas, figs.”Hey @mariajensen17 this is on the menu later

— Brian Jensen (@jensen_com) October 8, 2013

@jensen_com @SexFactsOfLife ha ha sounds good

— Maria Louisa Jensen (@mariajensen17) October 8, 2013

Those were our Tweets of the Week. Tune in on Monday for our Tweets of the Weekend!