Hello again folks, hope you’ve been enjoying the Euros as much as I have. It’s been a cracking tournament so far, but one question has been on everyone’s mind…
— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) June 12, 2012
Funnily enough I just asked the wife that – but then she is planning a holiday in Brazil!
Thank you, thank you. Now, observational humour is not just the preserve of us old-school comedians – even former Swansea City defenders are having a go…
If am sitting on the train or seat waiting. If your a dude please don’t sit next to me. Know the 1 seat gap rule otherwise just stand
— Izzy Iriekpen (@Izzyiriekpen) June 11, 2012
“Mind the gap”, eh Izzy? Oo er!
I’m glad you like that one, folks – I could see you a few of you looking at me as if to say, “He isn’t, Izzy?”
Er…anyway, did you hear about the first Amish person on Twitter? Made a right hash of it, he did…
— Joleon Lescott (@JoleonLescott) June 12, 2012
This was posted at 10.40pm, or 11.40 Polish time. Get some sodding electricity mate, your cuckoo clock’s broken!
Thank you, you’re too kind. Now, I’ve done a few radio gigs in my time, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t usual protocol…
I’m on peace fm. Now! #Ghana
— ASAMOAH GYAN (@ASAMOAH_GYAN) June 18, 2012
Asamoah lad, put the bloody smartphone away when you’re on the air!
That was incredulity for comic effect, that was. It doesn’t require a punchline.
Why do you all laugh so much when Russell Howard does it, then?
Oh, balls to the lot of yer. I wonder if Joey Barton’s retweeted anything good lately…
A megalomaniac is a person who is extremely full of themselves and overestimates their abilities.
— UberFacts (@UberFacts) June 11, 2012
Now that doesn’t require a punchline! Am I right folks?
Thank you, good to have you back onside. Now, I wonder what Watford’s young players have been listening to lately…
Think I might just play Ed Sheeran and fall asleep!!
— Bernard Mensah (@Mensah_10) June 18, 2012
I know lad, he has that effect on me too!
Oh, Warnock’s on fire tonight! Well, this morning, anyway.
Wow what surgery can do if you can afford it !!! twitter.com/jaybothroyd/st…
— Jay bothroyd10 (@jaybothroyd) June 18, 2012
That’s pretty amazing, Jay – you look more beautiful than ever there!
— Billy Clifford (@Bclifford47) June 18, 2012