“What a weekend of football!”
“Was it? Must have slipped my notice.”
“Wigan Athletic beat Manchester City in the FA Cup final!”
“Really? Cripes, I didn’t see that one coming.”
“Sir Alex Ferguson and David Moyes won their last home games as managers of Manchester United and Everton respectively!”
“Good for them. It’ll be interesting to see how that all pans out.”
“And Watford reached the playoff final in the most dramatic circumstances imaginable!”
“Wow. Do you have a video round-up of all this that you can show me?”
“No! That’s the exclusive copyright of the Premier League!”
“No, that’s okay. Is there anything else?”
“Well, there is Football Burp’s Football Tweets of the Weekend!”
“It’ll have to do.”
“Kill all humans!”
“What was that?”
NO NO NO BAD BROADCASTER of the Weekend
BREAKING NEWS: National Rail say all Wigan fans will have no probs getting back tonight from london as they will all be floating home #facup
— Colin Murray (@ColinMurray) May 11, 2013
Sympathy of the Weekend
See TV still doesn’t really get football. There should be a red button option that goes to a camera JUST on the Man City supporters.
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) May 11, 2013
Mildly Humorous Exchange of the Weekend
Robbie Fowler and David James, ex-Liverpool
“@robbie9fowler: Last 3 managers to win Fa cup all called Roberto…Can’to waito to beo ao managero”Roberto Fowler for Everton??
— David James (@jamosfoundation) May 11, 2013
Contrasting Opinions of the Weekend
Michael Owen, Stoke City and Jaydon Gibbs, brother of Arsenal’s Kieran Gibbs
I don’t care who you support, if Ferguson’s departing speech didn’t leave a lump in your throat I don’t know what will. Absolute legend.
— michael owen (@themichaelowen) May 12, 2013
Didnt understand a word Fergie said. Waffle.
— Jaydon Gibbs (@Jaydon_P_Gibbs) May 12, 2013
Drawn Parallel of the Weekend
Cédric Evina, Charlton Athletic
Leicester defo hate French men taking penalties for them in the play offs hahahaha
— Cédric Evina (@ceddyevina) May 12, 2013
Lest we forget…
Namesake of the Weekend
Nigel Pearson, Sky Sports and talkSPORT
Well that could be the end for me at Leicester.
— Nigel Pearson (@nigelpearson) May 12, 2013
Arf! of the Weekend
Darren Fletcher, BBC 5 Live
Touching tribute by referee Michael Oliver to Fergie in the Watford v Leicester game playing an additional 10 minutes
— Darren Fletcher (@DFletcherSport) May 12, 2013
“He Didn’t Design That Himself, Did He?” of the Weekend
Demba Ba, Chelsea
— Demba Ba (@dembabafoot) May 11, 2013
Making Friends of the Weekend
Rodney Marsh, ex-Fulham, Manchester City and Queens Park Rangers
I see the HorsePunchers avoided relegation…
— Rodney Marsh (@RodneyMarsh10) May 12, 2013
Laying Down the Law of the Weekend
Marvin Morgan, ex-Shrewsbury Town
People need to understand I don’t give out freebies. Even the ” Blue Ticks ” be paying
— Marvin Morgan (@MarvinNMorgan) May 10, 2013
Newcastle Through and Through of the Weekend
Robbie Elliott, ex-Newcastle United
— robbie elliott (@robbieelliott3) May 11, 2013
Grammatical Discontinuity of the Weekend
Rio Ferdinand, Manchester United
Bridcutt best player on the pitch tonight, disciplined, efficient + tenacity.
— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) May 10, 2013
Jermaine Pedant says… In future, please commit to either all adjectives or all nouns when assessing someone or something.
Either of the following would be permissible:
“Brighton and Hove Albion midfielder Liam Bridcutt is disciplined, efficient and tenacious.”
“Brighton and Hove Albion midfielder Liam Bridcutt counts discipline, efficiency and tenacity amongst his traits.”
Congratulations on your winning goal against Swansea. Please mention my availability to your new manager.
Typo of the Weekend
Ahmad Benali, Brescia
Congratulations to Wigan, played like soldiers and McManoman was top draw
— Ahmad Benali (@AhmadBenali) May 11, 2013
Artistic Spirit of the Weekend
Michael Duberry, ex-Chelsea and Oxford United
— Michael Duberry (@Original_Dubes) May 11, 2013
Summary Justice of the Weekend
Jernade Meade, Arsenal
I had to punch up my brother quick, he thought it was ok to fart up in my bed!
— Jernade Meade (@Jernade_R_Meade) May 11, 2013
Curious Turn of Phrase of the Weekend
Gary Madine, Sheffield Wednesday
What a game!! Zola was absolutely eating canvas!
— Gary Madine (@GaryMadine9) May 12, 2013
Embattled Clown of the Weekend
Billy Bodin, Torquay United
People pie me for fun @gwrona just witnessed pure custard!!
— Billy Bodin (@BillyBodin9) May 12, 2013
Embattled Clown of the Weekend II
Callum Robinson, Aston Villa
— Callum Robinson (@CallumRobinson7) May 11, 2013
Talent Scout of the Weekend
Jonny Court, Hibernian
— Jonny Court (@JonnyCourt1) May 12, 2013
Kissed Collymore of the Weekend
Andy Morrison, ex-Manchester City and Plymouth Argyle
For the younger fans in the Green Man that don’t remember Andy Morrison,he looks like Brock Lesnar only scarier twitter.com/Kevinhorlock6/…
— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) May 10, 2013
@kevinhorlock6 that his him….had some battles with him kid !!!!! Ask him bout putting his tongue down stan collymore throat at fulham
— geoff horsfield (@geoffhorsfield1) May 10, 2013
Beg Pardon? of the Weekend
Depart pour Lyon.du retard a la gare.Ce soir match a me pas manquer
— David Ginola (@DavidGinolaCeze) May 12, 2013
@davidginolaceze did you just call me a retard??
— Phil Cross (@crossy_phil) May 12, 2013
Optimism of the Weekend
Starting to get vague panic that football is ending for the summer. The good news: Because of World Cup, from August it goes on for 2 years!
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) May 12, 2013
All-Round Tweet of the Weekend
Jack Mills, Oxford City
If your girlfriend does this she’s a keeper twitter.com/JackMills36/st…
— Jack Mills (@JackMills36) May 12, 2013
Tune in on Friday for our Football Tweets of the Week!