Clive Tyldesley commentates in the key of B, says John Cale

Not pictured: Clive Tyldesley EXPERIMENTAL: Cale (Image: Jelle Goossens)

Velvet Underground legend reveals unsolicited collaboration with ITV mainstay. More...

Murphy and Savage

Murphy and Savage urged to hone Pinky & the Brain dynamic

BBC bosses say current likeness is "tantalisingly close" as former Crewe team mates revive spirit of Animaniacs. More...

Ross Barkley is the future

Ross Barkley now almost certainly the future

Scores Deflected Goal of the Season contender, named man of the match by what's-his-name off the telly. More...

Fifa will meet here in Marrakesh

Fifa makes arrangements to cover own arse in luxury

Vote against whether to release damning report to take form of lavish function in Marrakesh.  More...

Aaron Ramsey

Ramsey BACK!, joins Touré and van Persie in being so

Rejuvenated Welshman blasts absolute doozy against some Turkish mob or other. More...

Mystic Megson’s Stoke v Chelsea score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Josie Marino's men estublish their title prudentials on a cold Monday evening in Stoke? More...

Mystic Megson’s Liverpool v Arsenal score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Rodger Brenderson's Redbirds repeat the hysterics of last season's 5-1 disgruntling of Arson Wengo's Goons? More...

Mystic Megson’s Newcastle v Sunderland score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Who will portvale in the Wine-Tear derby county: Alain Perdu's Magpipes or Pus Goyet's Muckems? More...

Mystic Megson’s West Ham v Leicester score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Will Sam Furrydice's Hummers continue their unlikely four-top challenge against those struggling Foxies? More...

Mystic Megson’s Spurs v Burnley score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Who will make it back-to-black wins: Mo Pocketbeano's Hotspurs or Shane Dyke's rejubilated Clarences? More...

Mystic Megson’s Southampton v Everton score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Who will emerge triumphatic as Ronald Cumin's Saintlies host Martino Robertez's Toffles? More...

Mystic Megson’s QPR v West Brom score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Watch and learn as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal balls and casts his QPR v West Brom score prediction for this weekend’s game, including  More...

Mystic Megson’s Hull v Swansea score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Which side will backbounce from defeat as Steve Boost's Lions host Marry Gunk's Swannies? More...

WATCH: 1st episode of new Sunday League show Royal Oak FC

Royal Oak FC

We're delighted to bring you the first episode of new Sunday League football show Royal Oak FC. More...

Amateur goalkeeper’s Wikipedia entry considered for deletion after publicity

Huntly FC’s Fraser Hobday in action, but the amateur goalkeeper's Wikipedia entry is now being considered for deletion ALSO UPLOADED PHOTOS: Hobday (Image: Fraser2609)

Huntly FC's Fraser Hobday stands accused of editing his own detailed history but has been declared "not a notable footballer". More...

TWEETS: Aston Villa’s Matt Lowton sent his wife home from QPR clash

Aston Villa's Matt Lowton sent his wife home from the 2-0 defeat to QPR at Loftus Road and was not arguing with the fans as was originally thought SENDS HIS WIFE HOME WHEN HE WANTS: Lowton (Image: Ben Sutherland)

See the tweets as Paul Lambert and spouse Abi confirm that the defender was not arguing with the fans. More...

Gilbert the Gull “spoken to” after Torquay mascot fight claims

Gilbert the Gull had to be "spoken to" by club officials following claims of abusive behaviour towards Torquay United fans. More...

WATCH: Ron Vlaar documentary – go back to his home town

At home with Ron Vlaar sees club staff travel to the Aston Villa captain's home town of Hensbroek to meet his family and first football coach. More...

VIDEO: Dog pitch invasion in Argentine Primera División clash

Just another dog pitch invasion, as a sweet black Labrador makes it onto the field during Belgrano vs Quilmes. More...

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Mystic Megson’s Aston Villa v Man Utd score prediction

Who will claim all point three as Louis van Gull's high-flying Dead Revels go to Paul Lambutler's Villa? More...

Mystic Megson’s Man City v Crystal Palace score prediction

Can Manny Peligroso's Cities continue their tidal charge against Neil Wazzock's struggling Seagles? More...

Fantasy football tips Gameweek 17: Top 5 captains

Featuring players from Arsenal, Man City, Man United, QPR and West Ham. More...

Fantasy Premier League tips Gameweek 17: Forwards

Featuring players from Man United, Newcastle, QPR, Swansea, Spurs and West Ham. More...

Fantasy Premier League tips Gameweek 17: Midfielders

Featuring players from Arsenal, Man City, Spurs and West Ham. More...

Fantasy Premier League tips Gameweek 17: Defenders

Featuring players from Chelsea, QPR, Spurs and West Ham. More...

Fantasy Premier League tips Gameweek 17: Goalkeepers

Featuring players from Man United, Newcastle, QPR and West Ham. More...

Why Tottenham’s transfer window was far from underwhelming

Benjamin Stambouli, signed for Tottenham Hotspur during the transfer window STAMBOULI: Fun to say (Image: Jarodd)

How was Tottenham's transfer window for you? David Talisman thought it was pretty tidy, and explains why. More...

Webb of deceit: is England’s top ref good enough?

Umarah Naz was feeling a trifle put out by Howard Webb's decision not to give Luis Suárez a penalty for an apparent foul by Arsenal's Alex  More...

Why Barcelona consider themselves “més que un club”

Why do Barcelona consider themselves "more than a club")? Take a history lesson, bub. More...

Merseyside derby fears unfounded for Burp’s resident Red

I was a nervous wreck, and seeing Ross Barkley's name in Everton's starting line-up only increased that. More...

Wilshere, Walcott and the relationship between fans and players

Online interaction can help humanise players, but it can also further the sense of alienation.  More...

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Something From The Magazine Archives
Cristiano Ronaldo as one of the shrunken footballers

IN PICTURES: Shrunken footballers from ShrunkenFooty

15th Nov 2013

See the weird and wonderful miniaturised players in the shrunken footballers photos from ShrunkenFooty. More...

The first John Terry Royal Baby picture

The best John Terry Royal Baby jokes

24th Jul 2013

A collection of the the John Terry Royal Baby jokes and pictures as the nation celebrates the birth of a new Prince of Cambridge. More...