Mario Balotelli romps to victory at Tottenham Hotspur

Mario Balotelli BALOTELLI: Off the wall (Image: Stefano Stabile)

Italian maverick does it all on his own, apparently. More...

Tom Cleverley scoring for Manchester United

Tom Cleverley superior to you in every way, confirms research

Much-derided midfielder more skilled, more successful and probably better-looking than you, it turns out. More...

Wayne Rooney England captain

Rooney England captain no matter what, obviously

Nation understands importance of awarding captain's armband on long-term, non-meritocratic basis. More...

Chris Coleman wonders what on Earth a 3G pitch is

Coleman to Ancelotti: “What in the blue hell is a 3G pitch?”

Bale to play Andorra whether match takes place on 3G pitch, 3D pitch, Bee Gee pitch or 3G phone network. More...

Mathieu Flamini missed his customary booking

Flamini requests retroactive booking as Arsenal scrape through

French midfielder distraught not to have been issued one of ten yellow cards shown. More...

The best Transfer Deadline Day jokes as final 2014 window closes

Record amounts were spent by Premier League clubs in the final window of 2014 as transfer deadline day jokes were cracked

Catch up with the best jokes as the last window of 2014 slams shut for English clubs. More...

The best Arsène Wenger & Arsenal transfer deadline day jokes

Arsène Wenger and Arsenal transfer deadline day jokes were everywhere as the final 2014 window closed

Full of fan frustration and welcomes for Danny Welbeck. More...

The best Manchester United transfer deadline day jokes

Many Manchester United transfer deadline jokes were made as the squad's imbalance is revealed

After bringing in several big money signings including Radamel Falcao and Daley Blind. More...

The best Ed Woodward jokes as Falcao arrives on transfer deadline day

There were loads of Ed Woodward jokes as Falcao signed for Manchester United on transfer deadline day

Jokes and memes as Radamel Falcao arrives at Manchester United on transfer deadline day ahead of a potential loan move. More...

The best jokes as Wayne Rooney is named England captain

Seen here playing against Italy at Euro 2012, Wayne Rooney is named England captain by manager Roy Hodgson

See the jokes as Roy Hodgson announces his selection following Steven Gerrard's retirement. More...

Mystic Megson’s Leicester v Arsenal score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Pigel Nearson's Foxies sprig a surprise against Arsenal Wengo's much-vaughaned Goons? More...

The best Louis van Gaal memes and jokes after MK Dons loss

There were loads of Louis van Gaal memes and jokes after Manchester United's 4-0 defeat to MK Dons in the Capital One Cup

For your pleasure, following the big defeat. More...

The best Ángel Di María jokes as United exit Capital One Cup

There were many Ángel Di María jokes as United exited the Capital One Cup at the hands of MK Dons

The best jokes as Manchester United lose to MK Dons in the cup shortly after his arrival. More...

PHOTOS: Amy Childs and Rachel Riley at Soccer SixFest

Amy Childs and Rachel Riley at Soccer SixFest were admired in thier football kits, well after this photo of the Countdown cutie was taken GOT HER KIT ON: Riley (Image: Ed Clifton)

Check out Amy Childs of TOWIE fame and Countdown's Rachel Riley in their football kits at "the biggest celebrity football tournament in the world". More...

PHOTO: MK Dons sponsor parks Moyes van at Old Trafford

A David Moyes van was parked outside Old Trafford by MK Dons sponsors Sondico, joking they wanted him back at Manchester United following the 4-0 defeat LOOKING FOR THE VAN: Moyes (Image: Jon Candy)

Kit sponsor Sondico parked a promotional van outside the Manchester United stadium following the big Capital One Cup win. More...

VIDEO: Eva Carneiro Ice Bucket Challenge

The Eva Carneiro Ice Bucket Challenge Cold as ice Carneiro (Image: YouTube/singleta)

The much admired Chelsea physio takes on the latest charitable trend. More...

Former Cardiff player Ibrahim Farah: “Malky Mackay is racist”

The former Cardiff City youngster speaks out on Twitter. More...

Joey Barton Benayoun bust-up breaks out over Gaza

Ongoing Middle East conflict divides former QPR teammates.  More...

PHOTO: Ronaldinho lookalike spotted by Fabio Cannavaro

A photo of a Ronaldinho lookalike, taken by legendary Italian defender Fabio Cannavaro while on a legends football tour in Indonesia. More...

Fred the Red will not celebrate these Man Utd jokes from the 4-0 MK Dons defeat in the Capital One Cup NOT CELEBRATING ANYMORE: Fred (Image: vegaseddie)

The best Man Utd jokes from 4-0 MK Dons defeat in Capital One Cup

Jokes after their humiliating defeat to the League One side. More...

The best reactions to MK Dons 4-0 Manchester United

Reactions as the Premier League giants crash out of the Capital One Cup in spectacular style. More...

Mystic Megson’s Tottenham v Liverpool score prediction

Who will portvale as Maurice Pocketbeano's tabletop-toppers welcome last season's up-runners? More...

Mystic Megson’s Aston Villa v Hull score prediction

Both sides come into this one pretting sitty on four points apriest - who will remain unbeated? More...

Mystic Megson’s Everton v Chelsea score prediction

It's a right old titonic tossil as Martino Robertez's Toffles welcome Josie Marino's tabletop-toppers to Godson Park! More...

Mystic Megson’s West Ham v Southampton score prediction

Who will emerge triumphatic as Sam Furrydice's in-vorm Hummers welcome Ronnie Cumin's Saintlies? More...

Mystic Megson’s Swansea v West Brom score prediction

Two unbeated sides come face to face at the Liberty X Stadium - whose record will remain intactful? More...

Webb of deceit: is England’s top ref good enough?

Howard Webb Webb... Going worldwide this summer (Image: Ronnie Macdonald)

Umarah Naz was feeling a trifle put out by Howard Webb's decision not to give Luis Suárez a penalty for an apparent foul by Arsenal's Alex  More...

Why Barcelona consider themselves “més que un club”

Why do Barcelona consider themselves "more than a club")? Take a history lesson, bub. More...

Merseyside derby fears unfounded for Burp’s resident Red

I was a nervous wreck, and seeing Ross Barkley's name in Everton's starting line-up only increased that. More...

Wilshere, Walcott and the relationship between fans and players

Online interaction can help humanise players, but it can also further the sense of alienation.  More...

Jelavić’s loss of form at Everton was down to Hibbert injury

Jelavić: "boss slotter". At least he was when Tony Hibbert was about. More...

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Something From The Magazine Archives
Top Three Long-Range Headed Goals.

Top Three: Long-Range Headed Goals

4th Nov 2011

Fagiano Okayama defender Ryujiro Ueda is believed to have just broken the world record distance from goal for scoring with a header, with this 58.6m, horrendous  More...

Alexi Lalas

Tweets of the Week: Benitez, Cudicini, Lineker, Lalas and more!

23rd Aug 2013

Starring Rafael Benitez, Carlo Cudicini, Gary Lineker, Alexi Lalas, Joey Barton, David Thompson and many more. More...