Balotelli shirt swap blamed on “weight of the jersey”

Mario Balotelli shirt swap blamed on weight HEAVY: Weight (Image: David)

Trade with Pepe was a "comfort play", claim Liverpool supporters. More...

A memento from that famous night in Istanbul

Liverpool relive magic of famous night in Istanbul

Reds spark memories of 2005 Champions League final by going in 0-3 down at half time. More...

Manchester City have forged an alliance with this guy

Manchester City join UKIP after latest European humiliation

Title chasers "sick of scrounging foreigners coming over here and taking our Champions League points". More...

Sir Alex Ferguson writes

Sir Alex Ferguson retires from talking normally

All future communications to be made via updated reissues of his autobiography. More...

Own Goal's new home

Liverpool sign Southampton star Own Goal on permanent deal

Four goals in two days convinces Rodgers to splash the cash on another Saints sensation. More...

The best Liverpool jokes from 0-3 Real Madrid Champions League defeat

Cristiano Ronaldo's performance in Real Madrid's 3-0 Champions League win at Anfield was the primary cause of this latest batch of Liverpool jokes

More Liverpool jokes after they succumbed to the might of the current Champions League holders at Anfield. More...

The best Mario Balotelli jokes after Pepe shirt swap

Now with a new shirt to add to the collection that this one is in, he probably won't be fazed by all these Mario Balotelli jokes following his shirt swap with Pepe during Liverpool's 0-3 Champions League defeat to Real Madrid

More Balotelli-based fun after he swapped shirts with Pepe at half-time before being substituted in the 0-3 defeat to Real Madrid. More...

The best Raheem Sterling tired jokes as (bedtime) story rumbles on

Even he might enjoy the Raheem Sterling tired jokes after being left out of the England starting line-up against Estonia - they're that good!

All the best jokes as The Sun reveals that Sterling partied until 3am the night after England's Euro 2016 qualifier vs Estonia. More...

Mystic Megson’s QPR v Aston Villa score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Two sides in dire need of a winning come balls to balls at Lofthouse Road - who will emerge triumphatic? More...

Mystic Megson’s Man Utd v Chelsea score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Pray silence for Mystic Megson as he gazes into his crystal balls and casts his Man Utd v Chelsea score prediction for this weekend, including  More...

Mystic Megson’s Spurs v Newcastle score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

How will Alan Perdu's revitalited Magpipes get on at Light Hart Wayne? More...

Mystic Megson’s Burnley v Everton score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Who will claim all point three as Shane Dyke's Clarences welcome Martino Robertez's Toffles to Murf's Tor? More...

Mystic Megson’s Swansea v Leicester score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Marry Gunk's Swannies get back to winning wise against an out-of-vorm Foxies side? More...

Gilbert the Gull “spoken to” after Torquay mascot fight claims

Claims of a Torquay mascot fight appeared on the club's website before Gilbert the Gull had to be reprimanded by the club AGGRESSIVE: Gull (Image: Torquay United FC)

Gilbert the Gull had to be "spoken to" by club officials following claims of abusive behaviour towards Torquay United fans. More...

WATCH: Ron Vlaar documentary – go back to his home town

The Ron Vlaar documentary takes a visit to the Aston Villa captain's home town in Holland DOCUMENTED: Vlaar (Image: Jonesy702)

At home with Ron Vlaar sees club staff travel to the Aston Villa captain's home town of Hensbroek to meet his family and first football coach. More...

VIDEO: Dog pitch invasion in Argentine Primera División clash

Dog pitch invasion during Argentine Primera División match between Belgrano and Quilmes ON THE PITCH: Dog (Image: YouTube/Fútbol Para Todos)

Just another dog pitch invasion, as a sweet black Labrador makes it onto the field during Belgrano vs Quilmes. More...

VIDEO: Boris Johnson trips child during kids football match

The Mayor of London commits a cynical foul on a young child in a kids match organised to promote the health benefits of playing sport. More...

Antonio Valencia nude photos allegedly sent to two women by midfielder

Manchester United player alleged to have been sexting two women. More...

VIDEO: Spurs fan changes name to White Hart Lane

Spurs fan becomes Gary White Hart Lane. More...

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Mystic Megson’s West Brom v Crystal Palace score prediction

Meggo's old side host Neil Wazzock's Seagles in what could be a classic ink counter - who's for the winning? More...

Mystic Megson’s Sunderland v Arsenal score prediction

Can Pus Goyet's men backbounce against Arsenal Wengo's out-of-vorm Goons? More...

Mystic Megson’s Southampton v Stoke score prediction

Can Ronald Cumin's in-vorm Saintlies comprehensively disgruntle Hark Muse's Potties? More...

Mystic Megson’s Liverpool v Hull score prediction

Who will emerge triumphatic as Rodger Brenderson's Redbirds host Bruce Steven's Lions? More...

Mystic Megson’s West Ham v Man City score prediction

Can Sam Furrydice's Hummers sprig a set-up against Manny Peligroso's tidal chasers? More...

The best Southampton 8-0 Sunderland jokes

The best jokes and tweets as the Premier League is shocked by another giant scoreline. More...

VIDEOS: Top 10 Richard Dunne own goals in the Premier League

After notching his tenth against Liverpool, we take a look at each own goal scored by the QPR defender. More...

Why Tottenham’s transfer window was far from underwhelming

Benjamin Stambouli, signed for Tottenham Hotspur during the transfer window STAMBOULI: Fun to say (Image: Jarodd)

How was Tottenham's transfer window for you? David Talisman thought it was pretty tidy, and explains why. More...

Webb of deceit: is England’s top ref good enough?

Umarah Naz was feeling a trifle put out by Howard Webb's decision not to give Luis Suárez a penalty for an apparent foul by Arsenal's Alex  More...

Why Barcelona consider themselves “més que un club”

Why do Barcelona consider themselves "more than a club")? Take a history lesson, bub. More...

Merseyside derby fears unfounded for Burp’s resident Red

I was a nervous wreck, and seeing Ross Barkley's name in Everton's starting line-up only increased that. More...

Wilshere, Walcott and the relationship between fans and players

Online interaction can help humanise players, but it can also further the sense of alienation.  More...

Football Burp on Twitter
Something From The Magazine Archives
Jermaine Pedant

Jermaine Pedant: Barton, Lescott, Muamba, Routledge, Thompson, McLean

22nd Feb 2012

Football Burp’s very own Jermaine Pedant enjoys nothing more than strolling back and forth in his professor’s gown, casting scholarly gazes over his fellow  More...

In his glory Chelsea days, before the Juan Mata jokes rolled in after Manchester United's bid was accepted by Chelsea

The best Juan Mata jokes after United bid to sign Chelsea star

23rd Jan 2014

The best Juan Mata jokes after Manchester United's £37m bid for the Chelsea Player of the Season was accepted. More...