Diego Costa fitness controlled by Mourinho’s mind, it turns out

José Mourinho, controller of Diego Costa fitness JEDI: Mourinho (Image: Ronnie Macdonald)

Chelsea manager's famed mind games now beyond Jedi levels of power. More...

Yaya Touré form loss is down to this sort of thing

Yaya Touré form desertion is “95% cake related”

Pellegrini holds hands up as baked goods bargaining tactic backfires. More...

Danny Welbeck misses plane after this guy misplaces his passport

Welbeck misses plane as Arteta misplaces passport

Spaniard makes right hash of handing new team mate's official document to rookie defender Héctor Bellerín. More...

New Everton stadium to look like this

Kenwright: New Everton stadium will have proscenium arch

Pitch to be cloaked during non-match hours by curtain bearing image of Roberto Martínez in Looney Tunes logo. More...

This guy plans to run for Fifa presidency

Guy with cool name runs for Fifa presidency

Frenchman Jérôme Champagne to stand against the evil and charismatic Sepp Blatter. More...

The best Yaya Touré & Joe Hart jokes from Bayern clash

Joe Hart and Yaya Touré were tweeted and joked about for different reasons following the Champions League clash with Bayern Munich

A goalie in form & a midfielder who's still sulking - Joe Hart and Yaya Touré jokes from Man City's 1-0 Champions League defeat to Bayern Munich. More...

The best Ole Gunnar Solskjær jokes as manager set to leave Cardiff

Ole Gunnar Solskjær jokes were cracked after reports he was set to leave his job as Cardiff manager

After press reports that the baby-faced Norwegian was on the verge of leaving Cardiff City. More...

The best Mikel Arteta jokes after Dortmund disappointment

The captain, seen here playing for Arsenal way before the 2-0 Champions League defeat to Borussia Dortmund and the Mikel Arteta jokes

The Arsenal captain was heavily criticised for his performance in the Champions League defeat. More...

The best Arsenal jokes after being outplayed in Dortmund

Arsène Wenger will not like the Arsenal jokes that came after their loss to Borussia Dortmund in the Champions League

Arsenal suffer a 2-0 defeat in Germany to Borussia Dortmund in their opening Champions League Group D match. More...

Mystic Megson’s Man City v Chelsea score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Will Josie Marino repeat his hysterics of last season by mindermasting a win at Manny Peligroso's City? More...

Mystic Megson’s Everton v Crystal Palace score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Neil Wazzock emulate Pony Tulips in taking all point three at Godson Park? More...

Mystic Megson’s Spurs v West Brom score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Meggo's beloved Buggies get a result at Light Hart Wayne? Only he know. More...

Mystic Megson’s Leicester v Man United score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Who'll take the soils as Pigel Nearson's Foxies welcome Louis van Gull's Dead Revels to the King Kong Stadium? More...

VIDEO: Thomas Vermaelen can’t drive

Thomas Vermaelen can't drive but he does play for Barcelona DRIVING: Vermaelen (Image: postproduktie.nl)

Tries to enter the Barcelona car park through a narrow gap surrounded by fans in his big Audi. More...

IN PICTURES: Mario Balotelli can’t put on his shorts

Mario Balotelli can't put on his shorts, but did meet Giorgio Napolitano MET THE PRESIDENT: Balotelli (Image: Presidenza della Repubblica)

Judging by these photos from a Liverpool training session. More...

PHOTO: Ashley Cole lurking again in John Terry Instagram

Ashley Cole lurking again can be seen in a photo of a birthday party for Niall Horan uploaded to John Terry's Instagram LURKER: Cole (Image: Warrenfish)

Cole's lurking again as he celebrates One Direction star Niall Horan's 21st birthday. More...

WATCH: Linkin Park played instead of Malta national anthem

Linkin Park - Numb was played as the teams lined-up before a friendly against Slovakia kicked-off. More...

VIDEO: Mario Balotelli’s new house

Take a look around Steppingstone set in the beautiful English countryside near Chester. More...

PHOTOS: Amy Childs and Rachel Riley at Soccer SixFest

Check out Amy Childs of TOWIE fame and Countdown's Rachel Riley in their football kits at "the biggest celebrity football tournament in the world". More...

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Mystic Megson’s West Ham v Liverpool score prediction

Can Sam Furrydice's Hummers get one over Rodger Brenderson's chavilier Reddies? More...

Mystic Megson’s Swansea v Southampton score prediction

Will Marry Gunk's Swannies continue their 100 persil star against Ronald Cumin's Saintlies? More...

Mystic Megson’s Newcastle v Hull score prediction

It's the battle of the English managerials as Alan Lampardieu meets Bruce Steven! Who will rain supremes? More...

Mystic Megson’s Burnley v Sunderland score prediction

It's a potential relegatio point-sixer! Who'll claim all point 3, Shane Dyke's Clarences or Pus Goyet's Cack Blats? More...

Mystic Megson’s Aston Villa v Arsenal score prediction

Who will emerge triumphatic as Paul Lambo's bun-eaten Villas play host to Arsenal Wengo's Goons? More...

Mystic Megson’s QPR v Stoke score prediction

Who will portvale as Barry Redsnapp's R's welcome Hark Muse's Potties to Lofthouse Road? More...

The best Fred international retirement comeback jokes & reactions

Brazil striker claims that he is "willing to help" the national side by returning to the team. More...

Why Tottenham’s transfer window was far from underwhelming

Benjamin Stambouli, signed for Tottenham Hotspur during the transfer window STAMBOULI: Fun to say (Image: Jarodd)

How was Tottenham's transfer window for you? David Talisman thought it was pretty tidy, and explains why. More...

Webb of deceit: is England’s top ref good enough?

Umarah Naz was feeling a trifle put out by Howard Webb's decision not to give Luis Suárez a penalty for an apparent foul by Arsenal's Alex  More...

Why Barcelona consider themselves “més que un club”

Why do Barcelona consider themselves "more than a club")? Take a history lesson, bub. More...

Merseyside derby fears unfounded for Burp’s resident Red

I was a nervous wreck, and seeing Ross Barkley's name in Everton's starting line-up only increased that. More...

Wilshere, Walcott and the relationship between fans and players

Online interaction can help humanise players, but it can also further the sense of alienation.  More...

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Something From The Magazine Archives
Mystic Megson casts his World Cup score predictions

Mystic Megson’s World Cup score predictions: Saturday 5th July

4th Jul 2014

Megson predicts the rest of the quarters, including Argentina v Belgium and Holland v Costa Rica. More...

Roberto Soldado jokes aimed at this Spurs signing

The best Roberto Soldado jokes after more misses against Norwich

24th Feb 2014

The best Roberto Soldado jokes after more misses against Norwich completed a miserable week for the big money Spurs signing. More...