Football Burp is the home of Mystic Megson - football gossip, jokes, lists, stories and news, with added fantasy football tips

Top 5 funny Sam Allardyce videos from West Ham reign

BIG: Sam (Image: Ben Sutherland)

Brought to you in association with the distinguished manager's departure from the Upton Park hot seat.

The best David Luiz virgin jokes after no-sex-before-marriage revelation

There were all sorts of David Luiz virgin jokes after his no sex-before-marriage revelation at his baptism

Revealed stance on sex-before-marriage following his baptism.

The best jokes as Raheem Sterling rejects new Liverpool contract
Raheem Sterling, who has rejected a new contract and reportedly wants to leave Liverpool

Rejected new contract and expected to leave the club.

The best Phil Jones header jokes as he unconventionally fends off Giroud
Phil Jones header jokes followed the Man Utd defender's bizarre defending against Arsenal's Olivier Giroud

Crawled along the pitch before heading the ball into Giroud's legs.

News

Walcott and Wilshere physio celebration turns sour

Walcott and Wilshere physio celebration involved these guys

Arsenal duo to miss "at least three seasons" after backfiring piggyback stunt.

Sunderland step up search for next twenty managers

Ellis Short outlines six-point plan for unbroken success.

Dick Advocaat
Tweets of the Week: Shearer, Redmond, Bullard & more
The best football Tweets of the Week, collected

Featuring chants, threats, studies, thoughts and One Direction.

The best Gareth Bale jokes after Real Madrid’s Champions League semi-final exit
Gareth Bale jokes accompanied the blame he received after Real Madrid were knocked-out of the Champions League after a 1-1 semi-final second leg draw with Juventus

Blamed for their Champions League exit after 1-1 draw with Juventus at the Bernabéu.

VIDEO: Toronto fans confronted by reporter after vulgar remark
Toronto fans confronted by reporter after their friend shouted f*** her right in the p**** into the mic during an interview

Reacts to "f*** her right in the p****" comment.

The best of the Jack Grealish abuse as he refuses Ireland call-up
Many fans came in with Jack Grealish abuse after he refused an Ireland call-up

Insults and abuse as the Aston Villa star turns down place in the squad for England friendly.

The best Arsenal 4th jokes after 0-1 Swansea loss
Arsenal 4th jokes were abundant after the 0-1 loss to Swansea City at home

The team's slide towards their traditional final Premier League position is anticipated.

Hernanes: “It was the saddest backflip of my career”
Hernanes has described his celebration against Lazio as "the saddest backflip" of his career

Performed "unfortunate somersault" after scoring both goals in a 2-1 win against his former club Lazio.

VIDEO: Vintage footage of Lionel Messi sexually assaulted on Argentinian comedy TV programme
Lionel Messi sexually assaulted on a comedy Argentinian TV programme

Vintage footage of Messi evading touches and gropes from comedy characters.

Talking Spurs and Fulham with Palace
Palace

Leo and Rupert from the band discuss their respective loves of Spurs and Fulham.

Talking Spurs with We Are the Ocean
We Are the Ocean

Bassist Jack Spence discusses his beloved Tottenham Hotspur.

Talking Liverpool with All We Are
All We Are

Drummer Rich O'Flynn discusses his beloved Reds.

Talking QPR with Bear’s Den
Bear's Den are here to talk about QPR

Guitarist Andrew Davie discusses his beloved R's.

VINE: Colombia’s Pablo Armero loves the women on the big screen
These are the women on the big screen that Colombia's Pablo Armero reacted to

Forget Radamel Falcao, see Pablo Armero's favourite part of Colombia's 3-1 friendly win over Kuwait.

Fifteen fantastic Vanessa Huppenkothen photos
This one almost made it into the top 15 Vanessa Huppenkothen photos, so many more could have as Cristiano Ronaldo alleged new girlfriend is stunning

Meet the Mexican as rumours circulate that she could be Cristiano Ronaldo's new girlfriend.

Top 10 Antonella Roccuzzo photos
Lionel Messi with his wife, nice picture but not one of the chosen top 10 Antonella Roccuzzo photos

Lionel Messi's wife wowed at the FIFA Ballon d'Or 2014 ceremony in Zurich.

PHOTOS: Amy Childs and Rachel Riley at Soccer SixFest
Amy Childs and Rachel Riley at Soccer SixFest were admired in thier football kits, well after this photo of the Countdown cutie was taken

Check out Amy Childs of TOWIE fame and Countdown's Rachel Riley in their football kits at "the biggest celebrity football tournament in the world".

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