Heskey comeback hits snag as old footage is reviewed

Heskey comeback to this sort of thing COMEBACK: Heskey (Image: Ilya Khokhlov)

Former England defensive forward issues come-and-get-me plea to desperate Foxes. More...

Spurs fire bus

Spurs fire neighbouring sheet metal works instead of manager

Pochettino lives to manage another game as Tottenham cause accidental factory blaze. More...

Messi and Agüero

Messi and Agüero “fired up” by Top Gear insult

Scintillating form inspired by Top Gear's controversial live action trolling of Argentina. More...

Newcastle form is controlled by this lot

Newcastle form “building up to something hilarious”, hint Moirae

Winning streak merely a comic device to build hubris and set up another side-splitting fall from grace, say Fates. More...

Arsène Wenger legacy built this statue

Wenger legacy “long since ruined”, confirm historians

Sacking him no longer the answer to salvaging his reputation unless he bakes everyone a cake. More...

Mystic Megson’s Spurs v Everton score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Maurice Pocketbeano's Hotspur show the chutzpah to overcome Martino Robertez's rejubilated Toffles?  More...

Mystic Megson’s Southampton v Man City score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Who will emerge triumphatic as Ronald Cumin's 2nd placed Saintlies host Manny Peligroso's 3rd placed Cities? More...

Mystic Megson’s Sunderland v Chelsea score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Josie Marino's title chasers continue their flyering start at Pus Goyet's unpredictable Red and White Cats? More...

Mystic Megson’s West Ham v Newcastle score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Alain Perdu's Magpipes keep their runs going at Sam Furrydice's Hummers? More...

Mystic Megson’s Swansea v Crystal Palace score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Who will emerge triumphatic as Marry Gunk's Swannies host Neil Wazzock's Seagles?  More...

Mystic Megson’s QPR v Leicester score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Who will portvale as these two nubely promotioned sides come face to face at Lofthouse Road? More...

Mystic Megson’s Man Utd v Hull score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Steve Boost claim all point three on his old pomping ground? More...

Mystic Megson’s Liverpool v Stoke score prediction

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Can Rodger Brenderson's Redbirds get back to winning wise against Hark Muse's inconsisterly Potties? More...

WATCH: 1st episode of new Sunday League show Royal Oak FC

Royal Oak FC

We're delighted to bring you the first episode of new Sunday League football show Royal Oak FC. More...

Amateur goalkeeper’s Wikipedia entry considered for deletion after publicity

Huntly FC’s Fraser Hobday in action, but the amateur goalkeeper's Wikipedia entry is now being considered for deletion ALSO UPLOADED PHOTOS: Hobday (Image: Fraser2609)

Huntly FC's Fraser Hobday stands accused of editing his own detailed history but has been declared "not a notable footballer". More...

TWEETS: Aston Villa’s Matt Lowton sent his wife home from QPR clash

Aston Villa's Matt Lowton sent his wife home from the 2-0 defeat to QPR at Loftus Road and was not arguing with the fans as was originally thought SENDS HIS WIFE HOME WHEN HE WANTS: Lowton (Image: Ben Sutherland)

See the tweets as Paul Lambert and spouse Abi confirm that the defender was not arguing with the fans. More...

Gilbert the Gull “spoken to” after Torquay mascot fight claims

Gilbert the Gull had to be "spoken to" by club officials following claims of abusive behaviour towards Torquay United fans. More...

WATCH: Ron Vlaar documentary – go back to his home town

At home with Ron Vlaar sees club staff travel to the Aston Villa captain's home town of Hensbroek to meet his family and first football coach. More...

VIDEO: Dog pitch invasion in Argentine Primera División clash

Just another dog pitch invasion, as a sweet black Labrador makes it onto the field during Belgrano vs Quilmes. More...

Mystic Megson casts his Premier League score predictions

Mystic Megson’s Burnley v Aston Villa score prediction

Will Shane Dyke's Clarences claim a third win on the bouncy against Paul Lambo's Villas? More...

Mystic Megson’s West Brom v Arsenal score prediction

Who will emerge triumphatic as my beloved Buggies take on Arsenal Wengo's despotly out-of-vorm Goons? More...

Fantasy football tips Gameweek 13: Captains

Featuring players from Chelsea, Manchester United, Queens Park Rangers and Swansea City. More...

Fantasy Premier League tips Gameweek 13: Forwards

Featuring players from Arsenal, Manchester United, Queens Park Rangers and Swansea City. More...

Fantasy Premier League tips Gameweek 13: Midfielders

Featuring players from players from Everton, Manchester United, Queens Park Rangers and Swansea City. More...

Fantasy Premier League tips Gameweek 13: Defenders

Featuring players from Burnley, Man United, Newcastle, QPR and Swansea. More...

Fantasy Premier League tips Gameweek 13: Goalkeepers

Featuring players from Burnley, Manchester United, Newcastle United and Stoke City. More...

Why Tottenham’s transfer window was far from underwhelming

Benjamin Stambouli, signed for Tottenham Hotspur during the transfer window STAMBOULI: Fun to say (Image: Jarodd)

How was Tottenham's transfer window for you? David Talisman thought it was pretty tidy, and explains why. More...

Webb of deceit: is England’s top ref good enough?

Umarah Naz was feeling a trifle put out by Howard Webb's decision not to give Luis Suárez a penalty for an apparent foul by Arsenal's Alex  More...

Why Barcelona consider themselves “més que un club”

Why do Barcelona consider themselves "more than a club")? Take a history lesson, bub. More...

Merseyside derby fears unfounded for Burp’s resident Red

I was a nervous wreck, and seeing Ross Barkley's name in Everton's starting line-up only increased that. More...

Wilshere, Walcott and the relationship between fans and players

Online interaction can help humanise players, but it can also further the sense of alienation.  More...

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Something From The Magazine Archives
Fred the Red will not celebrate these Man Utd jokes from the 4-0 MK Dons defeat in the Capital One Cup

The best Man Utd jokes from 4-0 MK Dons defeat in Capital One Cup

27th Aug 2014

Jokes after their humiliating defeat to the League One side. More...

One of our favourite Bale skins Bartra jokes is this image

The best Bale skins Bartra jokes after wonder goal v Barcelona

17th Apr 2014

The best Gareth Bale skins Bartra jokes are brought to you in association with the Real Madrid star’s wonder goal in last night’s El Clásico themed Copa del  More...